How to Break Up With Your Phone

By Catherine Price(prīs)

The moment I realized(ˈrē(ə)ˌlīz) I needed to break up with my phone came just over two years ago. I had recently had a baby and was feeding her in a darkened(ˈdärkən) room as she cuddled(ˈkədl) on my lap(lap). It was an intimate(ˈintəmit,ˈintəˌmāt), tender(ˈtendər) moment — except for one detail. She was gazing(gāz) at me … and I was on eBay, scrolling(ˈskrōliNG) through listings for Victorian(vikˈtôrēən)-era(ˈerə,ˈi(ə)rə) doorknobs(ˈdôrˌnäb).

I’m not going to try to explain(ikˈsplān) this particular personal passion(ˈpaSHən). The point is that a good 15 minutes had probably passed before I finally caught sight of my daughter looking at me, her tiny(ˈtīnē) face illuminated(iˈlo͞oməˌnāt) by my phone’s blue light. I saw the scene(sēn) as it would have looked to an outsider — her focused on me, me focused on my phone — and my heart sank. This was not the way I wanted things to be.

An increasing(ē) number of us are coming to realize that our relationships with our phones are not exactly what a couples therapist(ˈTHerəpist) would describe as “healthy.” According to data from Moment, a time-tracking(ˈtrakiNG) app with nearly five million users, the average(ˈav(ə)rij) person spends four hours a day interacting(ˌintərˈakt) with his or her phone.

I still wanted to use my phone when it was helpful or fun. But I wanted a new relationship with it — one with better boundaries(ˈbound(ə)rē), and over which I had more control. I spent the next year and a half researching habits, addiction(əˈdikSHən), behavior change, mindfulness and neuroplasticity(plaˈstisitē), and developed a comprehensive(ˌkämpriˈhensiv) strategy(ˈstratəjē) for how to “break up” with my phone. The goal(gōl) wasn’t to never use my phone again; it was to create a sustainable(səˈstānəbəl) relationship that felt healthy.

Two years later, I feel that I’ve succeeded. Here are some of the key things I learned on how to navigate(ˈnaviˌgāt) a successful breakup and create a better relationship with your phone.

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/13/well/phone-cellphone-addiction-time.html

Beating(ˈbētiNG) Yourself Up

By Steve Pavlina

A common mistake for personal growth newbies(ˈn(y)o͞obē) is to wrap(rap) one’s self-esteem(iˈstēm) into short-term results. This often leads to self-blame(blām) and excess(ikˈses,ˈekses) worry when results are below expectations(ˌekspekˈtāSHən).

If we use the lenses(lenz) of truth, love, and power (our fundamental(ˌfəndəˈmentl) growth principles), we can see why beating yourself up for mistakes and failure(ˈfālyər) is an ineffective(ˈiniˈfektiv) approach that doesn’t actually help you grow(grō).

The Truth Lens

When viewed through the truth lens, we can readily(ˈredl-ē) see why beating ourselves up for mistakes will only make things worse(wərs). Since all input serves(sərv) as a form of programming for our brains(brān), it’s predictable(priˈdiktəbəl) that negative(ˈnegətiv) self-talk, especially(iˈspeSHəlē) when it becomes habitual(həˈbiCHo͞oəl), will serve to lower our future performance. We’re essentially(iˈsenSHəlē) programming ourselves to perform poorly(ˈpo͝orlē,ˈpôr-) when we use negative self-talk. We behave like a computer that installs(inˈstôl) a virus(ˈvīrəs) to slow itself down.

…

The Love Lens

Consider the consequences(-ˌkwens,ˈkänsikwəns) to your overall happiness if you fall into the habit of beating yourself up for mistakes. Does it make you any happier to wrap negative results into your self-image(ˈimij)? What does thinking of yourself as a failure do for your emotional(iˈmōSHənəl) life? More often than not, such thinking will invite negative emotions like fear(fi(ə)r), worry, and stress(stres).

…

The Power Lens

…

Isn’t it more empowering(emˈpou(-ə)r) to believe that you’re always doing your best? You can continue to learn, grow, and improve, but for right now, why not just accept that you’re doing the best you can? If you could have done better, you would have.

…

The more mistakes and failure you can handle without loss(läs,lôs) of self-esteem, the faster you can grow, and the grander and more expansive your growth experiences(ikˈspi(ə)rēəns) can be.

https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2018/02/beating-yourself-up/

Artemis(ˈärtəməs): A Novel(ˈnävəl)

By Andy Weir

1.

I bounded over the gray(grā), dusty(ˈdəstē) terrain(təˈrān) toward the huge((h)yo͞oj) dome(dōm) of Conrad(cənrad) Bubble(ˈbəbəl). Its airlock, ringed with red lights, stood distressingly(disˈtresiNG) far away.

It’s hard to run with a hundred kilograms(ˈkiləˌgram) of gear(gi(ə)r) on—even in lunar(ˈlo͞onər) gravity(ˈgravitē). But you’d be amazed how fast you can hustle(ˈhəsəl) when your life is on the line.

Bob(bäb) ran beside me. His voice came over the radio(ˈrādēˌō): “Let me connect my tanks to your suit(so͞ot)!”

“That’ll just get you killed too.”

“The leak’s(lēk) huge,” he huffed(həf). “I can see the gas escaping your tanks.”

“Thanks for the pep(pep) talk.”

“I’m the EVA master here,” Bob said. “Stop right now and let me cross-connect!”

“Negative(ˈnegətiv).” I kept running. “There was a pop(päp) right before the leak alarm. Metal(ˈmetl) fatigue(fəˈtēg). Got to be the valve assembly(əˈsemblē). If you cross-connect you’ll puncture(ˈpəNGkCHər) your line on a jagged(ˈjagid) edge(ej).”

“I’m willing to take that risk!”

“I’m not willing to let you,” I said. “Trust me on this, Bob. I know metal.”

I switched to long, even hops(häp). It felt like slow motion, but it was the best way to move with all that weight(wāt). My helmet’s(ˈhelmit) heads-up display said the airlock was fifty-two meters(ˈmētər) away. I glanced(glans) at my arm readouts. My oxygen(ˈäksəjən) reserve(riˈzərv) plummeted(ˈpləmit) while I watched. So I stopped watching.

The long strides(strīd) paid off. I was really hauling(hôl) ass(as) now. I even left Bob behind, and he’s the most skilled EVA master on the moon. That’s the trick(trik): Add more forward momentum(mōˈmentəm,mə-) every time you touch the ground. But that also means each hop is a tricky(ˈtrikē) affair(əˈfe(ə)r). If you screw(skro͞o) up, you’ll face-plant and slide(slīd) along the ground. EVA suits are tough(təf), but it’s best not to grind(grīnd) them against regolith(ˈregəˌliTH).

“You’re going too fast! If you trip you could crack(krak) your faceplate(ˈfāsˌplāt)!”

“Better than sucking(sək) vacuum(-yəm,ˈvakˌyo͞o(ə)m),” I said. “I’ve got maybe ten seconds.”

https://www.amazon.cn/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?__mk_zh_CN=亚马逊网站&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=artemis

potential(pəˈtenCHəl), toward perfection

success(səkˈses), and the(T͟Hē,T͟Hə) other

By Henry H. Walker

how is the world better because you lived(liv,līv)?
how are you better because of how you lived?

I see a new-born child,
full of possibility(ˌpäsəˈbilətē), of potential,
as if each of us is God’s next attempt
to allow potential to be perfected,

too often, we are seduced(siˈd(y)o͞os) by things, by money,
by self-worth as measured(ˈmeZHərd) by superiority(-ˈäritē,səˌpi(ə)rēˈôritē) over others,
whether in our bank account, or in our religion(riˈlijən),
we push ourselves higher by pushing down others,

should we not bet(bet) our lives(liv,līv) on love instead?
on finding self-worth in addition(əˈdiSHən)
of connection upon connection,
of finding others as colleagues(ˈkälˌēg) and not competitors(kəmˈpetətər)?
we should want our hearts to overflow,
to give more than to receive(riˈsēv),
to find the mountain(ˈmountn) we all should climb(klīm)
and feel our own success when another summits(ˈsəmit).

http://henryspoetry.blogspot.sg/2018/02/potential-toward-perfection.html

McDonald’s(ā) plays ‘hide the cheeseburger(ˈCHēzˌbərgər)’ in new Happy Meal(mēl) health push

Lisa Baertlein(līn)

McDonald’s Corp(corporal ˈkôrp(ə)rəl) is removing cheeseburgers from U.S. Happy Meal menus and shrinking(SHriNGk) the french(frenCH) fry(frī) serving in one “Mighty(ˈmītē) Meal” as part of a new global(ˈglōbəl) plan to cut calories(ˈkal(ə)rē) and make its food for children more healthy.

The changes announced Thursday come as the world’s biggest fast-food chain(CHān) for the first time established(iˈstabliSHt) global limits for calories, sodium(ˈsōdēəm), saturated(ˈsaCHəˌrātid) fat(fat) and added sugar in Happy Meals, which consultants(kənˈsəltnt) and franchisees(ˈfranˌCHīzē) say account for roughly(ˈrəflē) 15 percent of sales in the United(yo͞oˈnītid) States.

By 2022, McDonald’s aims to have at least half of the Happy Meals listed on its drive-thru, restaurant and digital(ˈdijitl) menus(ˈmenyo͞o) around the world contain 600 calories or less, 10 percent of calories from saturated fat, 650 mg(milligram ˈmiləˌgram) of sodium, and 10 percent of calories from added sugar.

The chain’s U.S. restaurants will continue to offer Happy Meal cheeseburgers on request, which nudges(nəj) diners to change behavior. When it did the same thing with Happy Meal sodas(ˈsōdə) in 2013, some customers switched to water, milk or juice(jo͞os).

…
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-mcdonalds-happymeal/mcdonalds-plays-hide-the-cheeseburger-in-new-happy-meal-health-push-idUSKCN1FZ0XJ

A Practice For When You Find Yourself Annoyed(əˈnoi) by Other People

By Leo Babauta

It’s a common thing to be frequently(ˈfrēkwəntlē) annoyed by other people — added to our regular interactions with family, friends and coworkers(kōˈwərkər,ˈkōˌwərkər) are the online habits of people on various(ˈve(ə)rēəs) social media, and they can all irritate(ˈiriˌtāt) the hell(hel) out of us.

What can we do when other people are being annoying, frustrating(ˈfrəsˌtrāt), inconsiderate(ˌinkənˈsidərit), irritating, even aggravating(ˈagrəˌvāt)?

Well, assuming we’re not in real danger and we don’t need to take action to protect ourselves … often the best practice is an internal shift rather than trying to change the other person’s behavior.

That suggestion in itself can be frustrating for some — why should we have to change our own behavior when it’s the other person who is being aggravating?

That’s because with one simple shift, you can be happy with any person. But if you try to change every other person, you’re just going to be miserable(ˈmiz(ə)rəbəl).

This is illustrated(ˈiləˌstrātid) by a metaphor(-fər,ˈmetəˌfôr) from legendary(ˈlejənˌderē) Buddhist(ˈbʊdəst) teacher Shantideva:

Where would there be leather(ˈleT͟Hər) enough to cover the entire(enˈtīr) world? With just the leather of my sandals(ˈsandl), it is as if the whole world were covered. Likewise, I am unable to restrain(riˈstrān) external(ikˈstərnl) phenomena(-nən,fəˈnäməˌnän), but I shall restrain my own mind. What need is there to restrain anything else?

In this metaphor(-fər,ˈmetəˌfôr), imagine(iˈmajən) that the surface(ˈsərfis) of the Earth were covered in shards of glass or some other sharp surface … you could try to find a covering for the whole world, so that you could walk in comfort … but you’d never be able to do it. Instead, just cover your own feet, and you can walk around just fine.

This is the idea of shifting your own mindset, so that you can deal with irritating people.

Let’s look at a practice to work on that shift.

A Simple Practice

Whenever you find yourself irritated by how someone else is behaving … first notice that your mind starts to create a story of resentment(riˈzentmənt) about them. It’s about how they always act in this irritating way, or why do they have to be that way, or why are they so inconsiderate, etc.(et cetera.)

This story isn’t helpful. It makes you unhappy, it worsens(ˈwərsən) your relationship with others, it makes you a person you probably don’t want to be.

So the practice is to drop that story, and instead try this:

Recognize(ˈrekigˌnīz,ˈrekə(g)ˌnīz) that you don’t like the way the person is behaving. You are not happy with your current(ˈkə-rənt,ˈkərənt) experience(ikˈspi(ə)rēəns). In this way, you are rejecting this part of reality(rēˈalətē), rejecting a part of life. Consider opening up to all of life, without rejecting.

Reflect on a river that flows downstream … imagine wishing it would flow upstream. It would just bring you unhappiness to wish that the river were different than it were. Now imagine that this other person is the river. Wishing they were different just brings unhappiness.

See them as they are and open your heart to them, just as they are. See them as a suffering(ˈsəf(ə)riNG) human being, with flaws(flô) and habitual(həˈbiCHo͞oəl) ways of acting that can be irritating, but are actually very human. How can you love humanity((h)yo͞oˈmanitē) just as it is?

Open up to all of life, without rejecting. Accept the river as it is. See the suffering human being in front of you, and love them fiercely(fi(ə)rs), as they are.

See how it shifts you. And see how it opens you up to connecting to your fellow(ˈfelō) human beings, and the vast(vast) experience of life, just as it is.

https://zenhabits.net/annoyed/

DETENTION(diˈtenCHən)

INT: DETENTION - AFTER SCHOOL

Mrs.(-əs,ˈmisəz,ˈmiz-) Tomlin, a middle-aged teacher, addresses(əˈdres,ˈaˌdres) a roomful of sullen(ˈsələn) students.

MRS. TOMLIN

All right, you little monsters(ˈmänstər), welcome to Detention. There is no talking in Detention. There is no gum(gəm)-chewing(CHo͞o) in detention. You may do one of two things in Detention: you may study a verified(ˈverəˌfī) educational(ˌejəˈkāSHənl) subject, or you may silently(ˈsīlənt) reflect on your wrongdoings while noting(nōt) how much of your free time you are wasting(wāst) here with me.

Before we begin, I am obliged(əˈblīj) to tell you that this sort of behavior does not fly in the real world. If you want a job or a promotion(prəˈmōSHən) or, lord(lôrd) help you, a girlfriend or boyfriend, you have to put in effort(ˈefərt). Maybe you think if you don’t try too hard, you’ll never hit the major(ˈmājər) milestones(ˈmīlˌstōn) and you can stay young forever. Well, let me assure(əˈSHo͝or) you that you don’t have to get married(ˈmarēd) and become a parent to get old and stodgy(ˈstäjē). You don’t have to pursue(pərˈso͞o) a power career(kəˈri(ə)r) to wake up and find yourself unrecognizable(ˌənˌrekigˈnīzəbəl
). Suddenly you’re forty-five and stuck in a rental(ˈrentl) with linoleum(ləˈnōlēəm) floors(flôr), drinking a glass of red and wading(wād) through ten thousand papers. At this point in your life you get a passing grade(grād) in a class and you move on to the next, but that isn’t how the real world works, kiddos(ˈkidō). Not every job lets you move up after you master the material(məˈti(ə)rēəl). Life can dead-end you in a second.

Take it from me. Some adults(əˈdəlt,ˈadˌəlt) around here spend more of their time in detention than you do.

https://www.instantmonologues.com/preview/Detention

Why Trying to Be Less Awkward(ˈôkwərd) Never Works

By Mellisa(məlisə) Dahl

You know that thing where someone is walking toward you, and you move one way but so do they, then you move the other way but so do they, and you repeat this dance until, inevitably(inˈevitəblē), one of you says, “Shall we dance?”

Awkward moments like these can be panic(ˈpanik)-inducing, and judging(jəj) by the number of books and articles and videos on awkwardness that have popped up in recent years, this is far from a unique(yo͞oˈnēk) worry. So many of these try to help by offering outrageously(aʊtˈreɪdʒəsli) specific(spəˈsifik) advice(ədˈvīs). Don’t let a conversational(ˌkänvərˈsāSHənl) silence last longer than four seconds. Memorize(ˈmeməˌrīz) this easy formula(ˈfôrmyələ) for politely(pəˈlīt) ending a conversation: “Content Summary(ˈsəmərē) Statement, Justification(ˌjəstəfiˈkāSHən), Positive(ˈpäztiv,ˈpäzətiv) Affect Statement, Continuity(ˌkäntnˈ(y)o͞oətē), and Well-Wishing.” Tilt(tilt) your head and point your feet toward people you’re talking to, in order to show them that you’re interested in what they’re saying.

There is something soothing(ˈso͞oT͟HiNG) about this kind of prescriptive(priˈskriptiv) advice, especially because it’s so often backed by the sweet certainty(ˈsərtntē) of studies. Do exactly(igˈzak(t)lē) this, this and this, and you’ll never feel awkward again! And yet in practice, wouldn’t focusing so closely on your movements and your words only make you feel that much more self-conscious(ˈkänCHəs)?

It’s a version(ˈvərZHən) of something psychology(sīˈkäləjē) researchers call explicit(ikˈsplisit) monitoring theory(ˈTHi(ə)rē,ˈTHēərē), a concept that’s often applied to athletics(aTHˈletiks). The gist(jist) is this: Focusing on the details(diˈtāl,ˈdētāl) is a good way for newbies(ˈn(y)o͞obē) to learn(lərn) the basics of some skill or sport. But when expert athletes think too hard about what they’re doing, that can cause them to screw(skro͞o) up. Psychologists have a nifty(ˈniftē) little questionnaire(ˌkwesCHəˈne(ə)r) intended to gauge(gāj) how likely people are to choke(CHōk) under pressure(ˈpreSHər); those who are tend to be more likely to agree with statements like these:

“I’m self-conscious about the way I look when I’m moving.”

“I am concerned about what people think about me when I am moving.”

“If I see my reflection in a shop window, I will examine(igˈzamən) my movements.”

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/13/smarter-living/dont-be-less-awkward.html

Art doesn’t end at the edge(ej) of the canvas(ˈkanvəs)

By Derek Sivers

Imagine(iˈmajən) you see a caged(kāj) feather(ˈfeT͟Hər) on a museum(myo͞oˈzēəm) wall. The sign(sīn) underneath(ˌəndərˈnēTH) says the artist is a political(pəˈlitikəl) activist in jail(jāl).

Imagine that same caged feather again. But instead the sign says the artist is a high school kid in Florida(ˈflär-,ˈflôridə).

Or imagine that the only way to see it is to crawl(krôl) deep into a shrinking(SHriNGk) tunnel(ˈtənl) that opens into a room of mirrors(ˈmirər), where the caged feather is suspended(səˈspend) by a thread(THred).

Same feather. Very different perceptions(pərˈsepSHən).

The way you present(priˈzent,ˈprezənt) your art, and what people know about it, completely(kəmˈplētlē) changes how they perceive(pərˈsēv) it.

Therefore, your art doesn’t end at the edge of the canvas. Your creative decisions continue all the way to the end.

Now think of the way you create and release(riˈlēs) music.

You had a tiny(ˈtīnē) idea for a song.

You fleshed(fleSH) it out into a full song.

You gave it layers(ˈlāər) of instruments(ˈinstrəmənt).

You chose its texture(ˈteksCHər) when recording.

You came up with your artist name, album(ˈalbəm) title, and visual(ˈviZHo͞oəl) look of your photos and videos.

Every step so far has been a creative expansion(ikˈspanSHən) of your original(əˈrijənl) idea.

So now it’s time to put it out into the world. Do you turn off all that creativity? Just upload the song to the usual places(plās), and tell your fans?

No! Most do. Please don’t!

Instead, continue that creative path in your marketing. Flaunt(flänt,flônt) your artistic freedoms, and have some fun with it!

Set the tone(tōn).

Decide how you communicate with the world, including why, when, and where.

Create the story about the song, and yourself.

Choose what you reveal(riˈvēl), what you omit(ōˈmit), and what you invent.

Choose what you’re actually selling.

Decide how, when, and where you’ll sell it.

Choose what you’ll accept as payment, and what you give in return.

These are all artistic decisions you can play with.

Marketing is the final extension(ikˈstenSHən) of your art.

https://sivers.org/ext

Netflix Culture(ˈkəlCHər)

Entertainment(ˌentərˈtānmənt), like friendship, is a fundamental(ˌfəndəˈmentl) human need; it changes how we feel and gives us common ground. Netflix is better entertainment at lower cost and greater scale(skāl) than the world has ever seen. We want to entertain everyone, and make the world smile.

This document is about our unusual(ˌənˈyo͞oZHo͞oəl) employee(emˈploi-ē,ˌemploiˈē) culture, which is helping us succeed.

Like all great companies, we strive(strīv) to hire(hīr) the best and we value integrity(inˈtegritē), excellence(ˈeksələns), respect(riˈspekt), and collaboration(kəˌlabəˈrāSHən). What is special(ˈspeSHəl) about Netflix, though, is how much we:

Encourage(-ˈkə-rij,enˈkərij) independent(ˌindəˈpendənt) decision(diˈsiZHən)-making by employees

Share information openly, broadly(ˈbrôdlē) and deliberately(diˈlibəritlē)

Are extraordinarily(ikˈstrôrdnˌerē,ˌekstrəˈôrdn-) candid(ˈkandid) with each other

Keep only our highly effective(iˈfektiv) people

Avoid rules

Our core philosophy(fəˈläsəfē) is people over process. More specifically(spəˈsifik), we have great people working together as a dream team. With this approach, we are a more flexible(ˈfleksəbəl), fun, stimulating(ˈstimyəˌlātiNG), creative, and successful organization.

Real Values

Many companies have value statements, but often these written values are vague(vāg) and ignored. The real values of a firm are shown by who gets rewarded(riˈwôrd) or let go. Below are our real values, the specific behaviors(biˈhāvyər) and skills we care about most. The more these sound like you, and describe people you want to work with, the more likely you will thrive(THrīv) at Netflix.

…
https://jobs.netflix.com/culture