Big Brothers Big Sisters of America

Changing Lives for the Better, Forever

Big Brothers Big Sisters seeks to change the lives of children facing adversity(adˈvərsitē) for the better, forever. We operate(ˈäpəˌrāt) in communities(kəˈmyo͞onitē) all across the United(yo͞oˈnīt) States - urban(ˈərbən) and rural(ˈro͝orəl), Big and Little. Our mentors(-tər,ˈmenˌtôr) work with children in the community, in their schools, on military(ˈmiləˌterē) bases, and many places(plās) in between(biˈtwēn).

Our unique(yo͞oˈnēk) brand(brand) of one-to-one mentoring has a Big impact all over the nation(ˈnāSHən).

What do we achieve?

Big Brothers Big Sisters helps children achieve success in school, helps them avoid risky(ˈriskē) behaviors such as getting into fights and trying drugs(drəg) and alcohol(-ˌhäl,ˈalkəˌhôl), and helps them improve their self-confidence(-fəˌdens,ˈkänfədəns). We hold ourselves accountable to our supporters(səˈpôrtər) by regularly(ˈreg(ə)lər,ˈregyələr) measuring(ˈmeZHər) our impact

Whom do we serve?

Big Brothers Big Sisters seeks to change the lives of children facing adversity between 6 and 18 years of age. Our network of volunteers(ˌvälənˈtir), donors(ˈdōnər) and supporters comes from all walks of life, all backgrounds, all corners of the country.

What do we do?

Our unique brand of one-to-one mentoring, in which a child facing adversity is carefully matched with a caring adult(əˈdəlt,ˈadˌəlt) mentor in a relationship supported by professional(prəˈfeSHənl) Big Brothers Big Sisters staff(staf) members, changes lives for the better forever.

http://www.bbbs.org/programs/

How to bee-proof yourself

‘Raise(rāz) your shirt,’ Andrew said and with tweezers(ˈtwēzərz) he applied two bee-stings(stiNG) to my back.

By Aidan Hartley

First comes a distant(ˈdistənt) hum(həm), rising(ˈrīziNG) in volume(-ˌyo͞om,ˈvälyəm) until I hear it coming straight(strāt) at me like Niki Lauda behind the wheel((h)wēl
) of his Ferrari. The blue sky darkens. I duck as swarming bees zoom overhead, trailing(trāl) their queen. They are gone again in a second, coiling(koil) off in a shadowy(ˈSHadōē) murmuration(ˌmərməˈrāSHən) across the veldt(velt). After the rains, several swarms hurtle(ˈhərtl) over us daily looking for homes, criss-crossing in the air.

When bees nest(nest) in our farmstead(ˈfärmˌsted) walls we leave them be. Anybody who has had bees live under the eaves(ēvz) will know how cosy(ˈkōzē) it is to lie in bed at night, listening to the soporific(ˌsäpəˈrifik) thrum(THrəm) of countless(ˈkountləs) beating wings. When bees swarm in the kitchen(ˈkiCHən) or chimney(ˈCHimnē), burning(ˈbərniNG) two or three large turds(tərd) of desiccated(ˈdesiˌkāt) elephant(ˈeləfənt) dung(dəNG) produces a cloud of smoke with the aroma(əˈrōmə) of incense(inˈsens), Montecristo(ˌmäntē ˈkristō) and pachyderm(ˈpakəˌdərm) bowel(ˈbou(ə)l) — and the insects(ˈinˌsekt) swiftly vacate(ˈvāˌkāt).

Laikipia is honey(ˈhənē) country. Honey from grass(gras) blossom(ˈbläsəm) is clear as water, honey from forest(ˈfär-,ˈfôrəst) flowers(ˈflou(-ə)r) reaches almost black, but the finest is honey from jasmine(ˈjazmən)-scented(ˈsentid) wait-a-bit thorn(THôrn), which blossoms in the driest weeks before the rains, making the landscape(ˈlan(d)ˌskāp) resemble(riˈzembəl) a peach(pēCH) orchard(ˈôrCHərd) in spring, or a forest after snowfall. For years I have bought honey from our neighbour(ˈnābər) Gilfrid Powys(ˈpōis). He tended hundreds of beehives(ˈbēˌhīv) on his ranch(ranCH) and on Christmas Eve he kindly gave me a present of two large pots of his best honey. Three days later an elephant killed Gilfrid and this signals(ˈsignəl) the passing of an era(ˈerə,ˈi(ə)rə). He was a giant(ˈjīənt) figure in Kenya(ˈkenyə,ˈkēnyə), a great Boran cattle(ˈkatl) rancher, aviator(ˈāvēˌātər), conservationist(ˌkänsərˈvāSHənist), aficionado(əˌfiSH(ē)əˈnädō,əˌfisyə-) of camels(ˈkaməl) and rare(re(ə)r) aloes(ˈalō). Among his many attributes that his neighbours will miss, he was a beekeeper.

…
https://www.spectator.co.uk/2018/01/how-to-bee-proof-yourself/

Asking the Big Questions(ˈkwesCHən)

By Steve Pavlina

When I was younger, I decided that I didn’t want to reach my deathbed(ˈdeTHˌbed) feeling like I’d missed the whole(hōl) point of this life. I realized that in order to avoid that problem(ˈpräbləm), I’d have to create a connection between exploring(ikˈsplôr) the big questions and my everyday life.

What Are the Big Questions?

The big questions are yours to discover and explore. Here are some of mine:

What is the nature(ˈnāCHər) of this reality(rēˈalətē)? How does it actually work?

Is this reality objective(əbˈjektiv) (a world of objects and energy(ˈenərjē) that I inhabit(inˈhabit) as a physical(ˈfizikəl) being with consciousness(ˈkänCHəsnəs)) or subjective(səbˈjektiv) (a dream-like world where consciousness is primary(ˈprīm(ə)rē,ˈprīˌmerē) and everything sensory(ˈsensərē) is a simulation(ˈsimyəˌlāt) within this greater consciousness)?

What will happen to me when I die?

How long might I be able to extend(ikˈstend) my life here, and in what form?

Can I trust this universe(ˈyo͞onəˌvərs)? And what does it mean to trust or distrust(disˈtrəst) the universe?

Is the universe itself conscious in some way?

What is intimacy(ˈintəməsē)? How deep can intimacy go with another person? How well can I know someone?

What exactly am I? Am I this body with a consciousness? Am I this consciousness that contains a body(ˈbädē) that I can animate(ˈænəˌmeɪt)?

Why do I seem to be present(priˈzent,ˈprezənt) and aware(əˈwe(ə)r)?

Why am I here?

Who are the best people for me to connect with while I’m here? How will I recognize(ˈrekigˌnīz,ˈrekə(g)ˌnīz) them?

How can I merge the objective and subjective lenses to make better decisions(diˈsiZHən)? And can I consistently(kənˈsistənt) practice(ˈpraktəs) the ability to use both lenses in key situations(ˌsiCHo͞oˈāSHən)?

How much time is wise(wīz) to spend learning for myself vs.(versus -səz,ˈvərsəs) sharing with the world? Does sharing with the world matter? Am I just sharing with myself when I do that?

Do people communicate(kəˈmyo͞onəˌkāt) energetically(ˌenərˈjetik) somehow? When I get inspired(inˈspīrd) by article ideas that practically(ˈpraktik(ə)lē) write(rīt) themselves, why do they feel like transmissions(transˈmiSHən,tranz-) that I’m receiving(riˈsēv)?

How shall I use my remaining(riˈmāniNG) time here, especially(iˈspeSHəlē) if I don’t know how much is left?

…
https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2017/10/asking-big-questions/

Include everyone(ˈevrēˌwən) in your success(səkˈses)

By Derek Sivers

Everyone who is drawn to you before you’re famous is thinking the same thing: You might be famous soon!

fans who want to help you

professionals(prəˈfeSHənl) who want to meet you

musicians who want to play with you

companies that want to work with you

They’re all hoping to be included in your glorious(ˈglôrēəs) future.

As you get more successful, share that success with those who helped you years ago. When you’re in the tornado(tôrˈnādō) of fame(fām), you can’t depend on your memory. So use your database now to keep track of who has done special(ˈspeSHəl) favors(ˈfāvər) for you. When you are famous, return the favors. Reach out to contact them, and invite them into your new world. (Don’t wait for them to ask.)

Those that gave their services for free? Now you can pay full price(prīs).

Those who wanted glamour(ˈglamər) by association(-SHē-,əˌsōsēˈāSHən)? Invite them to the best party.

Those who deserve(dəˈzərv) more recognition(ˌrekigˈniSHən)? Shout their praises(prāz) to your new audience(ˈôdēəns).

You aren’t pulled to success by destiny(ˈdestinē). You’re lifted there by those around you. So acknowledge(akˈnälij) their contribution, and bring them along for the ride(rīd).

https://sivers.org/inclev

MELANCHOLY(ˈmelənˌkälē)
Melancholy

EXT: A CREAKING(krēk) DOCK(däk) ANCHORED(ˈaNGkər) ON A LAKE OUT IN A RURAL(ˈro͝orəl) TOWN. NIGHT.

SOPHIE, a fourteen-year-old girl, is sitting on the dock, watching the moon.

SOPHIE

I’ve figured out the exact(igˈzakt) moment that everybody grows up. Maybe it comes at a different age for different people, but I think, universally(ˌyo͞onəˈvərsəlē) speaking, it’s the first time in your life that a soft, moonlit(ˈmo͞onˌlit) night makes you feel sad instead of happy.

(Shakes her head)

Not even happy or sad. Those are words little kids use. They only have one meaning. You need big words to describe growing-up feelings. Ennui(änˈwē). Melancholy.

I used to come out to this dock when the days got warm like this and I didn’t think about the tall(tôl) grass(gras) swishing at my knees(nē) or the way the water slapped the rotting(rät) boards(bôrd), I just felt it, you know? And now, god, it’s like even as I’m feeling it I’m thinking about how I miss it already, or how much it will hurt when it’s gone. Does that even make sense(sens)?

(Hugs(həg) her knees tightly to her chest(CHest))

It feels like everything’s already gone, or going, or not even really here. Every moment I’m anywhere feels like I should be somewhere else. I just want to be a kid sitting by the lake looking at the moon and for it to feel the way it does in books when the girl can feel the breeze(brēz) and see the moonlight on the surface(ˈsərfis). Peaceful. But it’s not that way anymore. I see the moon and it’s cutting up the water and all it does is make me ache(āk) inside, like I might cry for no reason or run as hard I can to nowhere or explode(ikˈsplōd) into a million tiny(ˈtīnē) pieces(pēs) and I can’t even a little bit figure out why.

https://www.instantmonologues.com/preview/Melancholy

How to Travel(ˈtravəl) With Kids

By Shivani Vora

Travel can be an enlightening(enˈlītn) and eye-opening experience(ikˈspi(ə)rēəns) for children of all ages: there’s new foods, experiences and sights, not to mention(ˈmenCHən) quality(ˈkwälətē) family time. But traveling with children can also be an overwhelming proposition(ˌpräpəˈziSHən) — unpredictable(ˌənpriˈdiktəbəl) schedules(-jəl,ˈskejo͞ol), long packing lists and cranky(ˈkraNGkē) kids are just a few of the challenges you may encounter along the way. But here we’ll help you make traveling with kids a breeze(brēz). After all, you and your children should enjoy every moment seeing the world and create a lifetime of memories along the way. Isn’t that the point of travel in the first place?

…

Picking a Destination(ˌdestəˈnāSHən)

With the world as your proverbial(prəˈvərbēəl) oyster(ˈoistər), it may be hard to narrow(ˈnarō) down a destination for a family trip. How do you choose(CHo͞oz)?

INTERESTS FIRST, DESTINATION SECOND

Don’t choose a destination, choose what you want to do, Mr. Jenss said. Do you want to relax(riˈlaks) on the beach(bēCH)? Do you want an adventure(adˈvenCHər,əd-) packed nature(ˈnāCHər) getaway? Are you seeking an urban(ˈərbən) escape? “Once you decide how you want to spend your time off, you can decide where to go,” he said.

Some ways to think about your destination:

Beach vacations(vāˈkāSHən,və-) work with children of any age.

Theme(THēm) parks are best when kids are between the ages of 3 and 12 — children younger than 3 won’t be able to go on most of the rides(rīd), and older kids aren’t always interested in theme parks.

Cruises(kro͞oz) are a good bet(bet) for school-age and teenage(ˈtēnˌāj) children because they can be fairly(ˈfe(ə)rlē) independent and keep busy with a range of activities.

“All family-friendly cruise lines have kids and teens clubs,” Mr. Jenss said.

Also, be open to visiting international destinations, and if you have school-age or teenage children, ask them where they want to go — involving(inˈvälv) them in the decision process will make the trip that much more memorable for them. It’s a strategy(ˈstratəjē) that works well for Mr. Stoen’s family. “I let each of my three children pick a destination for one of the three trips we take a year,” he said. He has traveled to 48 countries with his children including Japan, Australia(ôˈstrālyə,əˈstrāl-), Belize(bəˈlēz) and the Maldives(-ˌdīvz,ˈmäl-,ˈmôlˌdēvz), as well as Antarctica(-ˈärtikə,antˈärktikə).

…
https://www.nytimes.com/guides/travel/travel-with-kids

The Regulator(ˈregyəˌlātər) Bookshop

By Tom Campell

A small and perhaps improbable(imˈpräbəbəl) bookstore opens its door for the first time on a cold Saturday morning. It is early in December, 1976. There’s a vague(vāg) memory of snow flurries(ˈflə-rē,ˈflərē) in the air.

We set things up so that our first customer that morning was Agnes Birkhead, the grandmother of one of the store’s founding lights. Agnes had been the court(kôrt) stenographer(ˈstenō) at the Scopes(skōp) “monkey” trial(ˈtrī(ə)l) and gone on to be Sinclair Lewis’s personal assistant. Agnes Birkhead was a touchstone(ˈtəCHˌstōn) for us, a connection to a strong American tradition(trəˈdiSHən) of truth-seeking and independent thinking. We hope that, 30 years on, our actions continue to honor(ˈänər) her memory.

…

Thinking back on The Regulator’s earliest days, it’s clear that the bookstore was founded in a completely(kəmˈplētlē) different universe(ˈyo͞onəˌvərs), in a place you just can’t get to anymore. The power’s down, the roads are out, the trails(trāl) are unmarked and overgrown. In this far away place there was a working textile(ˈtekˌstīl) mill(mil) across the street, and Ninth(nīnTH) Street was populated by “mill village(ˈvilij)” shops-a couple of grills(gril) that only served breakfast and lunch, a hardware store, a post office, McDonald’s drug(drəg) store. Durham(ˈdo͝or-,ˈdərəm) was still a tobacco(təˈbakō) and textile town, and though we didn’t really know it at the time, the bookstore’s opening was a harbinger(ˈhärbənjər) of change to come. More change than we could ever have imagined(iˈmajən) at the time.

But one thing has remained(riˈmān) constant through all these years-the amazing support that this town has given to our community-oriented bookstore. That an independent bookstore the size (and may we humbly(ˈhəmbəl) say) status(ˈstatəs,ˈstātəs) of The Regulator continues to succeed(səkˈsēd) in a city the size of Durham is highly unusual. Durham certainly gets its share of bad press, and gets the cold shoulder from many of our haughtier(ˈhôtē) Triangle(ˈtrīˌaNGgəl) neighbors(ˈnābər). But here at the Regulator we’ve come to know that there’s a lot more to this town than the conventional(kənˈvenCHənl) wisdom(ˈwizdəm), and the media, give it credit(ˈkredit) for. We wouldn’t want to run a bookstore anywhere else. Thank you, Durham, for thirty wonderful years.

…
https://www.regulatorbookshop.com/our-history

Scientists(ˈsīəntist) have spent 60 years agonizing(ˈagəˌnīziNG) over how our knuckles(ˈnəkəl) crack(krak)

By Katherine Ellen Foley(ˈfōlē)

Knuckle-cracking. Aside from worrying about whether it leads to arthritis(ärˈTHrītis) (it doesn’t), most of us do it mindlessly to get ourselves in the mood to start a project—or while we fret(fret) about it.

Scientists have been struggling(ˈstrəgəl) with an explanation(ˌekspləˈnāSHən) for the pops our finger joints(joint) are capable(ˈkāpəbəl) of making for upwards of 60 years. Much of the early theories(ˈTHi(ə)rē,ˈTHēərē) have been disproven or unreproducible. Knuckles don’t seem to have a uniform(ˈyo͞onəˌfôrm) refractory period(ˈpi(ə)rēəd) in between snaps, for example(igˈzampəl), and the noise(noiz) doesn’t come from vibrations(vīˈbrāSHən) in nearby tissues(ˈtiSHo͞o) or a fibrous(ˈfībrəs) snap as a result of the quick movement.

Scientists got close to cracking the case in 2015, when researchers from the University of Alberta(alˈbərtə) published a paper in which a test subject cracked his knuckles in an MRI machine, and they confirmed that bubbles in the joints pop as they’re pulled apart. (The released(riˈlēs) air is still trapped within us, and eventually dissolves(diˈzälv) back into the normal fluid(ˈflo͞oid) in our knuckles, allowing us to repeat the process shortly afterward.)

But Vineeth Chandran Suja, formerly a graduate students at École Polytechnique in France(frans,fräNs), had been working on the same problem for a few years with his advisor(ədˈvīzər) Abdul Barakat when the 2015 paper came out. They weren’t entirely(enˈtīrlē) convinced(kənˈvinst).

A crack occurs in just about a third of a second—far too quickly to get a good idea with an imprecise(ˌimpriˈsīs) picture. “Mathematical(ˌmaTH(ə)ˈmatikəl) modeling is particularly useful because [real-time] imaging(ˈimij) is not sufficiently(səˈfiSHənt) rapid(ˈrapid) to capture the phenomena(fəˈnɑmənə) involved(inˈvälvd),” Bakarat told Gizmodo. So, the duo(ˈd(y)o͞o-ō) created a model of the hand’s metacarpophalangeal(ˈmetə) joint and played with it to account for all sorts of factors that affect fingers, like the thickness(ˈTHiknis) of the surrounding fluid(ˈflo͞oid), or the speed at which the joints move.

…
https://qz.com/1240783/scientists-may-have-solved-the-mystery-behind-the-sounds-of-knuckle-cracking/

Four Antidotes(ˈantiˌdōt) to Procrastination(prō-,prəˌkrastəˈnāSHən)

By Leo Babauta

Lately I’ve been procrastinating a bit more than normal, and of course it doesn’t feel great.

The truth(tro͞oTH) is, though, that there are a number of good reasons for my procrastination:

I’ve had some serious(ˈsi(ə)rēəs) jetlag and sleep issues(ˈiSHo͞o), which means my mind is tired and just needs some rest. So I am trying to be patient and take care of myself.

I’ve had a lot on my plate(plāt), and it’s been overwhelming(ˌōvərˈ(h)welmiNG). Not just work stuff (though there’s lots of that), but family stuff too. So instead of holding myself to impossible standards, I have to be compassionate(kəmˈpaSHənət) and allow myself to create some space, to simplify(ˈsimpləˌfī), to find a path(paTH) that works for me.

I’m pushing myself into lots of uncertain(ˌənˈsərtn) territory(ˈterəˌtôrē) this year. That brings up fears. I’ve been running from those fears at times, through(THro͞o) procrastination. This is natural(ˈnaCHərəl), and I shouldn’t beat myself up for it. Instead, I can be compassionate, and mindful, and find a path forward.

So if it’s not such a bad thing, my procrastination, and I shouldn’t beat myself up about it … problem solved, right? Or actually there’s no problem at all?

Well, yes … there’s actually no problem. This isn’t anything to feel bad about. However, I do believe that we should find an antidote (or two) to our procrastination, because it usually means we’re not doing the meaningful(ˈmēniNGfəl) work we want to do in the world. It’s worth figuring(ˈfigyər) out.

So in this article, I want to offer a few antidotes to procrastination, so that we can all find a path to doing the meaningful work we want to do, a path to offering our gift fully to the world.

Antidote 1: Self-Care

The first thing to ask yourself, if you’re procrastinating, is: “Am I tired? Do I need to take care of myself?”

…

When this is the case, the answer is to get some rest. Take a nap(nap). Sleep in. Disconnect, and read a paper book. Go for a slow walk, not for exercise(ˈeksərˌsīz) but to get a mental(ˈmentl) breather(ˈbrēT͟Hər). Meditate(ˈmedəˌtāt). Do some yoga(ˈyōgə).

Antidote 2: Make a (Small) Commitment

What helped me during one point of my procrastination was to make a commitment to a friend that I would do a bunch(bənCH) of work at a specific time. And if I didn’t do that work, I would have to suffer(ˈsəfər) a consequence(-ˌkwens,ˈkänsikwəns) that we both agreed to.

Needless(ˈnēdlis) to say, I stuck to my commitment. I got the work done, no matter what it took.

Antidote 3: Create the Space

A big part of the problem with constant procrastination is that we are in an environment(-ˈvī(ə)rn-,enˈvīrənmənt) that is conducive(kənˈd(y)o͞osiv) to distraction(disˈtrakSHən), to doing small tasks (like checking messages, answering emails, seeing how many likes you got on Facebook, etc.).

…

So the smallest first step you need to do is create the space. Turn off wifi, set up an Internet blocker(ˈbläkər), unplug(ˌənˈpləg) your router(ˈroutər,ˈro͞otər), or get somewhere where there is no Internet. With an environment like this, you will be able to focus much better.

Antidote 4: Find the Joy(joi) in It

When we think of the work as something huge and difficult, stressful and overwhelming, or full of fear … it’s hard not to procrastinate.

So a switch in mindset would be hugely beneficial(ˌbenəˈfiSHəl). If you love doing it, you won’t procrastinate!

The trick(trik) is to find the joy in the activity. Don’t just do it like it’s a chore(CHôr) to be gotten over with, or some ordeal(ôrˈdēl) you need to make it through. Instead, see it as a treasured(ˈtreZHər) activity that you get to do. Something that is a privilege(ˈpriv(ə)lij) to do, because not everyone gets to do this kind of work.

https://zenhabits.net

Ladybugs(ˈlādēˌbəg)

By Emily Dickinson

I saw a little lady bug flying in the air,

But when I tried to catch her, two bugs were there.

Two little lady bugs flew up in a tree.

I tiptoed(ˈtipˌtō) very quietly, and then I saw three.

Three little lady bugs - I looked for one more.

I saw one sitting on the ground, that made four.

Four little lady bugs - another one arrived(əˈrīv)

I saw her sitting on a flower(ˈflou(-ə)r), and that made five.

Five little lady bugs, all red and black -

I clapped(klap) my hands and shouted(SHout), and they all flew back!

https://www.amazon.cn/dp/B00BW4M0RE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522735269&sr=8-1&keywords=we+love+bugs