Insomnia(inˈsämnēə)

INSOMNIA

INT: A BEDROOM. NIGHT.

JOEY(ˈjō-ē), a teenage(ˈtēnˌāj) boy, is lying in his bed, trying to go to sleep.

JOEY

Oh hey, brain(brān). What’s up. How about you actually turn off for once? It’s not a big deal, but I have an AP History test tomorrow and yeah, it’s going to be the worst on four hours of sleep. Wait.

(Checks clock)

Three hours and forty-seven minutes. Do I know everything about the New Deal? Crap, do I know all of the acronyms(ˈakrəˌnim)? CCC is the Civilian(səˈvilyən) Conscription(kənˈskripSHən) Corps(kôr). Is that right? Conscription? Conversion? Well, this is off to a stellar(ˈstelər) start. Okay, okay, CWA is the Civil(ˈsivəl) Works Administration(ədˌminəˈstrāSHən) and—I wonder what time Claire is taking the test tomorrow. I could offer to go over notes with her beforehand(biˈfôrˌhand). Or I could kill myself, because it’s going to be seven in the morning and she’s going to think I’m such a huge spaz(spaz). Which I am.

Maybe…maybe if I’m just hanging(ˈhaNGiNG) out in front of the testing center early, concentrating(ˈkänsənˌtrāt) on my notes. That worked outside her math class. She said hi to me and sat down, right? That’s a good sign(sīn). Or it’s a sign that she’s a person and I am a moron(ˈmôrˌän).

Oh god, and then she asked me if I was going to go to the cafeteria(ˌkafiˈti(ə)rēə) for lunch and I said “Is your face going to the cafeteria for lunch?” and it was the actual(ˈakCHo͞oəl) dumbest(dəm) thing anyone could have said to anyone else in the entire(enˈtīr) history of the universe(ˈyo͞onəˌvərs). And she was like “Eh—heh.” And, god—

(Rolls over and punches(pənCH) the wall, hard)

Ow. So, ow. That was stupid. And why am I thinking about this right now? Why can I not just go to sleep? Brain, you have ten seconds to shut off, and if you think about anything else embarrassing(emˈbarəsiNG) I will go chug(CHəg) cough(kôf) syrup(ˈsirəp,ˈsər-) until you stop bothering me.

Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one…

(A long moment of silence)

I wonder if I should text Claire. Maybe she’s awake.

(With a groan(grōn))

Ninety-nine…ninety-eight…ninety-seven…

https://www.instantmonologues.com/preview/Insomnia

Americans spend more time alone(əˈlōn) than ever—but that doesn’t mean we’re lonely(ˈlōnlē)

But social media might not be a long-term solution.

By Sara Konrath

Are Americans becoming lonelier?

On May 1, NPR reported on a survey about loneliness(ˈlōnlēnis) conducted by Cigna, a large health insurance(inˈSHo͝orəns) company. Cigna asked over 20,000 American adults if they agreed with statements like “People are around me but not with me” and “No one really knows me well.” The survey found that younger Americans were lonelier than older Americans.

But while doing research for my upcoming book on empathy(ˈempəTHē) and social relationships, I found that the story is a bit more complicated(ˈkämpləˌkātid) than this.

How to study loneliness

The Cigna study is far too limited to tell us why young people appear to be lonelier. Is it because younger people are in a normal lonelier life stage before finding a partner and having children? Or is it because there have been generational increases in loneliness? The only way scientists could know if there have been generational changes would be to compare young people today to young people in earlier times.

The Cigna survey used the UCLA Loneliness Scale(skāl), one of the best available measures(ˈmeZHər) of loneliness. But just because a survey has 20,000 respondents(riˈspändənt) doesn’t mean it’s high quality. Who were the respondents? Did they reflect the general U.S. population in terms of age, gender and other factors? Without more details about the survey methods, it’s hard to know how to interpret(inˈtərprit) it.

Thankfully, some peer-reviewed studies have examined(igˈzamən) changes over time in loneliness and social isolation(ˌīsəˈlāSHən). Loneliness is the subjective(səbˈjektiv) feeling of social disconnection. Social isolation is more objective. It includes living alone, having very few social ties, not having people to confide(kənˈfīd) in, and not spending time with others very often.

Although lonely people are sometimes more socially isolated, this is not always the case. It’s possible to feel lonely, even when surrounded by people. And it’s possible to have a few friends, enjoying deep connections with them along with times of solitude(ˈsäləˌt(y)o͞od).

…
https://www.popsci.com/americans-lonely-social-isolation

Move to the big city

By Derek Sivers

I hate to admit(ədˈmit) this, but it’s true.

One of the best things you can do for your career is to move to a big city — one of the major(ˈmājər) media centers — the places that broadcast to the entire(enˈtīr) world. Nothing less than New York, Los Angeles, London, Mumbai(ˈməmˌbī), Hong Kong, or maybe San Francisco. (Nashville(-vəl,ˈnaSHˌvil), Paris(ˈparis), Seoul(sōl), or Tokyo(ˈtōkēˌō) only count if you’re limiting yourself to those markets.)

It’s the place where everything happens. Where the biggest media companies in the world are based. Where the money is flowing. Where the most successful agents, producers, and executives(eg-,igˈzekyətiv) live and work. Where the most ambitious(amˈbiSHəs) people go.

It has a serious(ˈsi(ə)rēəs) energy(ˈenərjē), because the stakes(stāk) are high. It’s not casual(ˈkaZHo͞oəl). It’s not a place for a comfortable work/life balance. It’s fueled(ˈfyo͞oəl) by ambition. People go go go.

I’ve lived a bunch(bənCH) of places now, but when I look back at my career, it’s obvious(ˈäbvēəs) that the biggest breakthroughs(ˈbrākˌTHro͞o) happened because I was living in the heart of the music industry in New York and Los Angeles.

It shows that you’re in the game. It shows you’re serious. It gives you healthy competition(ˌkämpəˈtiSHən), knowing that today’s biggest stars and legends(ˈlejənd) are there with you, too. It challenges you to push your skills to the best of the best, instead of just the best in your home town.

Once you’re famous, and the media is carrying your reputation(ˌrepyəˈtāSHən), you can move away if you want. But even then you’ll be a little out of the game. You can decide if that’s OK with you.

I lived in New York City for nine years, and Los Angeles for seven years. I met so many wonderful kindreds(ˈkindrid) — other ambitious people like me that had moved there from around the world to get successful.

So why do I hate to admit this?

Because I love how the internet has made it possible for anyone to get successful, anywhere. I love the idea of living in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nature(ˈnāCHər), yet being connected to the world.

But still, when I look at the facts, it’s impossible to deny(diˈnī). Living in the big city, and being where everything is happening, will help your career the most. Being anywhere else won’t hurt you, but it won’t help.

https://sivers.org/city

A letter(ˈletər) to my young daughter for Mother’s Day

By Lindsay Gibson(ˈgibsən)

Knowing what you know now, what would you tell your younger self? This question posed on a talk radio(ˈrādēˌō) show got me thinking. I considered what I wish I had known earlier in my life and in my career(kəˈri(ə)r), but mostly I thought(THôt) about my young daughter and the responsibility I have to help her learn from me and the generations of amazing women who have preceded(priˈsēd) us. As I drove, I mentally(ˈment(ə)lē) drafted(draft) a letter to my child.

To my daughter, I would say: In my first parent-teacher interview when you were just four years old, your teacher described how you knew who you were and what you wanted to do. She predicted(priˈdikt) that you would one day run a major(ˈmājər) corporation(ˌkôrpəˈrāSHən). Even at that young age, your natural(ˈnaCHərəl) leadership qualities defined you. Now, at age 8, you are starting to discover them for yourself, and deciding who you are and who you want to become.

As your mom, I see all the wonderful things you have to offer the world. I am your biggest cheerleader(ˈCHi(ə)rˌlēdər). I feel your wins – and your bumps(bəmp) and bruises(bro͞oz), too – as much as you do. Sometimes I think I feel them even more than you do. As you go through life, I want you to remember who you are and what makes you amazing. While you may not always like my advice, there are words I hope you hear.

Throughout(THro͞oˈout) your life, your gifts – your voice and your ability to guide – may be misconstrued(ˌmiskənˈstro͞o) as being bossy(ˈbäs-,ˈbôsē). When your kindergarten(-ˌgärdn,ˈkindərˌgärtn) teacher predicted you’d be a leader, I beamed(bēm) with pride(prīd) and then wondered if she was telling me you were difficult or overbearing. On the contrary, you and others like you were born to clear a path. Don’t dial(ˈdī(ə)l) back or change who you are to please(plēz) others.

…
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-a-letter-to-my-young-daughter-for-mothers-day/

College(ˈkälij) May Not Be Worth It Anymore

By Ellen Ruppel Shell(SHel)

Last year, New York became the first state to offer all but its wealthiest(ˈwelTHē) residents(ˈrez(ə)dənt,ˈrezəˌdent) tuition-free(t(y)o͞oˈiSHən) access to its public community(kəˈmyo͞onitē) colleges and four-year institutions. Though this Excelsior(ikˈselsēər) Scholarship(ˈskälərˌSHip) didn’t make college completely(kəmˈplētlē) free, it highlights the power of the pro-college movement in the United(yo͞oˈnītid) States.

Recent decades have brought agreement that higher education is, if not a cure(kyo͝or), then at least a protection against underemployment and the inequality(ˌiniˈkwälitē) it engenders(enˈjendər). In 2012, President(ˈprez(ə)dənt,ˈprezəˌdent) Barack Obama called a college degree an “economic(ˌekəˈnämik,ˌēkə-) imperative(imˈperətiv) that every family in America has to be able to afford(əˈfôrd).”

Americans strove to rise(rīz) to that challenge(ˈCHalənj): A third of them ages 25 to 29 now hold at least a bachelor’s(ˈbaCH(ə)lər) degree, and many paid heavily for the privilege(ˈpriv(ə)lij). By last summer, Americans owed more than $1.3 trillion(ˈtrilyən) in student loans(lōn), more than two and a half times what they owed a decade earlier.

Young people and their families go into debt(det) because they believe that college will help them in the job market. And on average it does. But this raises a question: Does higher education itself offer that benefit, or are the people who earn bachelor’s degrees already positioned to get higher-paying jobs?

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/opinion/college-useful-cost-jobs.html

don’t lose the self in selflessness

The Platinum(ˈplatn-əm) Rule

By Henry H. Walker

“Do unto(ˈənto͞o) yourself as you would do unto others.”

the Golden Rule inverted,
for the Platinum Rule is an even higher rule,
that the caregiver should take care of self
with as much love as the care for others,

the selfless can lose the self in the other,
and maybe then lose the wherewithal(-wiTH-,ˈ(h)we(ə)rwiT͟Hˌôl) to keep caring, well,

I find it far harder to love myself
with the same lack of condition
as I love my spouse(spous), my friends, my students,

I write this as I watch our bluebird(ˈblo͞oˌbərd) house,
with five baby birds hungry and growing,
father and mother flit(flit) in and out feeding them,

the mother just noticed me and flitted away,
she knows how vital(ˈvītl) she is
and takes care of herself, just in case.

http://henryspoetry.blogspot.sg/2018/04/dont-lose-self-in-selflessness.html

To master a language, start learning it early(ˈərlē)

New evidence(ˈevədəns) suggests a drop-off in results after the age of 17

Those who want to learn a foreign(ˈfär-,ˈfôrən) language, or want their children to, often feel they are racing(ˈrāsiNG) against the clock. People seem to get worse at languages as they age. Children often learn their first without any instruction, and can easily become multilingual(ˌməltēˈliNGg(yə)wəl,ˌməltī-) with the right exposure(ikˈspōZHər). But the older people get, the harder it seems to be. Witness(ˈwitnis) the rough(rəf) edges(ej) on the grammar(ˈgramər) of many immigrants(ˈimigrənt) even after many years in their new countries.

Scientists mostly agree that children are better language learners, but do not know why. Some posit(ˈpäzit) biological(ˌbīəˈläjikəl) factors. Is it because young brains(brān) have an extreme(ikˈstrēm) kind of plasticity(plaˈstisitē)? Or, as Steven Pinker, a Harvard psychologist(sīˈkäləjist), argues(ˈärgyo͞o), an instinct for language-learning specifically, which fades as the brain ages and (in evolutionary(ˌevəˈlo͞oSHən) terms) is no longer needed? Others think children have special environments and incentives(inˈsentiv), not more conducive(kənˈd(y)o͞osiv) brains. They have a strong motivation(ˌmōtəˈvāSHən) to communicate with caregivers(ˈke(ə)rˌgivər) and imitate peers(pi(ə)r), and are not afraid(əˈfrād) of making mistakes in the way adults are.

Some believe any “critical(ˈkritikəl) period(ˈpi(ə)rēəd)” may only apply to the sounds of a foreign tongue(təNG). Adults struggle with accents(ˈækˌsɛnt): eight decades after immigrating to America and four after serving as secretary(ˈsekriˌterē) of state, Henry Kissinger still sounds fresh(freSH) off the boat from Fürth—in what is nevertheless(ˌnevərT͟Həˈles) elaborately(əˈlæb(ə)rətli) accurate(ˈakyərit) English. (An alternative(ôlˈtərnətiv) explanation(ˌekspləˈnāSHən
), runs a joke about Mr Kissinger, is that he never listens.)

…
https://www.economist.com/news/books-and-arts/21741956-new-evidence-suggests-drop-results-after-age-17-master-language

Make Education(ˌejəˈkāSHən) a Lifelong Endeavor(enˈdevər)

Too many workers lack the skills employers(emˈploi-ər) demand(diˈmand). Here’s how to help.

By The Editors of Bloomberg Businessweek

The world’s rich countries face a looming(lo͞om) challenge(ˈCHalənj) in education: Too many of their citizens lack the skills and credentials(krəˈdenCHəl) needed for the jobs of the future. To keep people productively engaged(enˈgājd) in work in the coming decades, and to ensure that economies(iˈkänəmē) maintain(mānˈtān) robust growth, governments, educators and employers will need to make lasting investments in a new class of students: adults.

The trouble(ˈtrəbəl) for now is largely demographic(ˌdeməˈgrafik). Although a growing share of people between the ages of 18 and 24 is going to college, the total population of young adults is shrinking(SHriNGk) in the U.S. and Europe. So total college enrollment(enˈrōlmənt) is largely in decline(diˈklīn). Meanwhile(ˈmēnˌ(h)wīl), the population of older workers keeps growing. In the U.S., by the middle of the next decade, nearly one-quarter(ˈkwôrtər) of the workforce will be over 55. And many adults lack the post-high-school education and training that employers increasingly(iNG-,inˈkrēsiNGlē) demand.

A majority(-ˈjär-,məˈjôrətē) of new jobs created in the U.S. since 2010 have required workers to have medium(ˈmēdēəm) to advanced digital(ˈdijitl) skills. Over the next decade, the percentage of jobs worldwide requiring a college degree or higher will continue to increase, according to a McKinsey Global Institute analysis(əˈnaləsis).

So efforts are needed to bring adult workers into the classroom – or, in many cases, back to the classroom. Some 17 percent of Americans over 25 – 36 million adults – have some college education but no credential to show for it. Today, if all U.S. “near-completers(kəmˈplēt)” finished at least an associate’s(əˈsoʊsiˌeɪt,əˈsoʊʃiˌeɪt) degree, incomes would rise by $112 billion, according to the American Council(ˈkounsəl) on Education.

…
https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2018-04-23/adult-education-is-crucial-to-addressing-workers-skills-gap

Reasons I May Be Eating Right Now

By Julia Shiplett

I’m hungry.

I’m bored.

I’m stressed.

This food is delicious.

This food is fine.

I was craving(ˈkrāviNG) this food.

I’ve never tried this food before.

I can’t remember if I’ve ever tried this food before.

This food is not very good, but it’s here.

Someone took the time to make this food, and it would be rude(ro͞od) not to have some.

Someone spent money to buy this food, and it would be rude not to have some.

Everyone around me is eating.

Everyone around me is done eating, but there is still food left.

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/12/opinion/sunday/reasons-i-may-be-eating-right-now.html

Be kind to your cashier(kaˈSHi(ə)r), please: We deserve it

By Megan Ty

I was a quick learner.

“Hi, miss. How are you? Need any bags?”

A methodical(məˈTHädikəl) routine(ro͞oˈtēn). Grab(grab), scan, bag. Grab, scan, bag. Ask for the points card.

“Credit(ˈkredit), debit(ˈdebit) or cash(kaSH)?”

I’m 15 years old. Excited and nervous(ˈnərvəs). My very first job. My very first day.

“Your total is $13.55.”

I offer a smile and an open hand, ready to provide the best service.

…

Since then, I have spent hours scanning groceries(ˈgrōs(ə)rē). I have seen thousands of different characters(ˈkariktər) and personalities(ˌpərsəˈnalitē) come into the store. As my shift would progress, the number of insults and bad attitude would grow exponentially(ˌekspəˈnenCHəl). Some days, a thought would nag(nag) at the back of my head as I packed up and punched out at the time clock.

How can you be so inconsiderate(ˌinkənˈsidərit)?

…

Why is it okay to be unkind to a stranger, but not to an acquaintance(əˈkwāntns)? And why do people get so hot and bothered in a grocery store? It’s just another example of senseless(ˈsensləs) behaviour. But how can insulting a harmless and innocent(ˈinəsənt) 15 year old cashing out your milk and bread(bred) bring you any satisfaction(ˌsatisˈfakSHən)?

…

In the end, the person on the other side of the till who scans your groceries should be given the same respect as the person beside you at the movie theatre(ˈTHēətər), or on the bus.

…

Whoever it is – it’s always a person. Just like you and just like me.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-be-kind-to-your-cashier-please-we-deserve-it/