这颗心是玻璃做的

他本是透明的
质问之后
便被裂纹折磨
没了信任

Loving Your Idiot(ˈidēət) Zone

By Steve Pavlina

The genius zone idea is popular among many friends of mine. The idea is that we should spend more time doing what we do amazingly well, and delegate or eliminate(iˈliməˌnāt) everything else that we can.

Imagine being a surgeon(ˈsərjən) with a surgical(ˈsərjikəl) team who handles everything else for you. They do all of the prep(prep) work. Then you come in and do the surgical procedure(prəˈsējər) that only you can do. With respect to your genius zone, you’re the hub(həb), and other people are the spokes(spōk). Your team supports(səˈpôrt) you in doing what you do best.

This sounds like a pretty(ˈpritē) good idea in principle, and it apparently(əˈparəntlē,əˈpe(ə)r-) works well for some people. I find it rather limiting though, so it’s not a model I use for myself. I dislike the lifestyle consequences(-ˌkwens,ˈkänsikwəns), namely boredom(ˈbôrdəm).

The issue(ˈiSHo͞o) I have with focusing on my genius zone is that I don’t grow as much when I’m working from my most highly developed skills. I tend to get more value from life when I step outside of my comfort zone repeatedly(riˈpētidlē), such as I’m doing with the current(ˈkə-rənt,ˈkərənt) delegation challenge, and this takes me far from my genius zone.

If I opted to stick(stik) with my genius zone, I’d never get into delegating because delegating isn’t my strength(streNG(k)TH,strenTH) right now. Delegation is among my weakest skill sets. My intention(inˈtenCHən) is to turn this area into a strength. I expect(ikˈspekt) this will take years. If I work on this enough, I can expect that my future self will be pretty good at delegation, perhaps even great. This is how I built many other skills that I’ve been able to leverage(ˈlev(ə)rij,ˈlēv(ə)rij), such as programming, writing, and speaking.

I had to pass through my own idiot zone to level(ˈlevəl) up in these areas(ˈe(ə)rēə). If I’d stuck with my original(əˈrijənl) genius zone, I’d still be a programmer today, but I don’t think that would have been as valuable a path for my life, especially(iˈspeSHəlē) in terms of creating positive ripples(ˈripəl) for others.

…
https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2018/05/loving-your-idiot-zone/

how full the glass(glas)?

The Middle Schooler

By Henry H. Walker

the middle schooler:

an incredible(inˈkredəbəl) person
fraught(frôt) with the challenges
of physical, social, and emotional(iˈmōSHənəl) changes,
just getting up and surviving(sərˈvīv) the day
can seem like a victory,
the sureness(SHo͝or) of being a child
held safe in a parent’s arms,
gone way, at least for awhile(əˈ(h)wīl
),
the sureness of being a child
awake to the wonder within a moment,
within a belief, within a world that is stable,
all shattered(ˈSHatərd) by the double-edged(ej) sword
that empowers(emˈpou(-ə)r) ability and disempowers sureness,

I love the middle schooler,
I see the wholeness of who each is,
despite(diˈspīt) the doubt(dout) and fear and hesitancy(ˈhezitənsē)
that can plague(plāg) every moment,

I am in awe(ô) of how often they can risk
and find enough faith(fāTH) to leap(lēp), despite the fear of falling,

this weekend I was in the mountains with ten middle schoolers,
each of whom is navigating(ˈnaviˌgāt) a way through their changes,
each of whom deserves praise(prāz) for how full each fills the glass,
and sympathy(ˈsimpəTHē) for how hard the glass is to fill.

http://henryspoetry.blogspot.com/2018/04/how-full-glass.html

Shed(SHed) your money(ˈmənē) taboos(ta-,təˈbo͞o)

By Derek Sivers

Everyone has weird(wi(ə)rd) mental(ˈmentl) associations(-SHē-,əˌsōsēˈāSHən) with money.

They think the only way to make money is to take it away from others. They think that charging for your art means it was insincere(ˌinsinˈsi(ə)r), and only for profit(ˈpräfit).

But after knowing thousands of musicians for over twenty years, I’ve learned this:

The unhappiest musicians are the ones who avoided the subject of money, and are now broke or need a draining(drān) day job. It may sound cool to say money doesn’t matter — to say “don’t worry about it!” — but it leads to a really hard life. Then ultimately(ˈəltəmitlē) your music suffers, because you can’t give it the time it needs, and you haven’t found an audience that values it.

The happiest musicians are the ones who develop their value, and confidently(-fəˌdent,ˈkänfədənt) charge a high price. There’s a deep satisfaction when you know how valuable you are, and the world agrees. Then it reinforces(ˌrē-inˈfôrs) itself, because you can focus on being the best artist you can be, since you’ve found an audience that rewards you for it.

So never underestimate the importance of making money. Let go of any taboos you have about it.

Money is nothing more than a neutral(ˈn(y)o͞otrəl) exchange of value. If people give you money, it’s proof that you’re giving them something valuable in return.

By focusing on making money with your music, you’re making sure it’s valuable to others, not only to you.

https://sivers.org/mn1

How Peppa(e) Pig took over the world

By John(jän) Meagher

As any parent of pre-school children will surely know, Peppa Pig is more than just a cartoon.

The cute(kyo͞ot) porcine(ˈpôrˌsīn) creature(ˈkrēCHər) in the red dress is also a babysitter, a temper-tantrum(ˈtantrəm) alleviator(əˈlēvēˌāt) and the two-dimensional(diˈmenCHən) friend who makes teething(ˈtēT͟HiNG) stop temporarily(ˈtempəˌrerē). Her appeal(əˈpēl) to toddlers(ˈtädlər) is quite(kwīt) extraordinary(ikˈstrôrdnˌerē,ˌekstrəˈôrdn-).

Peppa Pig is also one of the must lucrative(ˈlo͞okrətiv) creations in the entertainment world, with the distribution company behind the animated(ˈanəˌmātid) series(ˈsi(ə)rēz), Entertainment One, posting a four-fold increase in profits(ˈpräfit) this.month(mənTH)

Not only is the five-minute cartoon a staple(ˈstāpəl) of one of the world’s biggest kids TV channels Nick(nik) Jr(junior ˈjo͞onyər) – the under-fives’ offshoot of the Nickelodeon(ˌnikəˈlōdēən) giant(ˈjīənt) – but it has spawned(spôn) a near endless glut(glət) of merchandise(ˈmərtʃənˌdaɪz,ˈmərtʃənˌdaɪs). There are, of course, Peppa Pig books and DVDs – the latter(ˈlatər) sell by the truckload(ˈtrəkˌlōd) – but also crockery(ˈkräkərē), houses and spectacles(ˈspektəkəl).

Few could have imagined(iˈmajən) just how enormous(iˈnôrməs) the cartoon would be when it first aired in Britain(ˈbritn) 10 years ago this weekend. But thanks to its combination(ˌkämbəˈnāSHən) of superb(so͞oˈpərb,sə-) animation(ˌanəˈmāSHən), clever(ˈklevər) storylines with an empowerment(emˈpou(-ə)r) message and the sort of storylines that appeal to both two-year-olds and their parents, Peppa Pig soon became a classic(ˈklasik) of the genre(ˈZHänrə).

…
https://www.independent.ie/life/family/learning/how-peppa-pig-took-over-the-world-30309314.html

Disney History

Disney arrived(əˈrīv) in California(-nēə,ˌkaləˈfôrnyə) in the summer of 1923 with a lot of hopes but little else. He had made a cartoon(kärˈto͞on) in Kansas(ˈkanzəs) City about a little girl in a cartoon world, called Alice’s Wonderland, and he decided that he could use it as his “pilot(ˈpīlət)” film to sell a series(ˈsi(ə)rēz) of these “Alice Comedies(ˈkämədē)” to a distributor(disˈtribyətər). Soon after arriving in California, he was successful. A distributor in New York, M. J. Winkler, contracted to distribute the “Alice Comedies” on October 16, 1923, and this date became the start of the Disney company. Originally(əˈrijənl-ē) known as the Disney Brothers Cartoon Studio, with Walt Disney and his brother, Roy(roi), as equal(ˈēkwəl) partners, the company soon changed its name, at Roy’s suggestion, to the Walt Disney Studio.

Walt Disney made his Alice Comedies for four years, but in 1927, he decided to move instead to an all-cartoon series. To star in this new series, he created a character(ˈkariktər) named Oswald the Lucky Rabbit(ˈrabit). Within a year, Walt made 26 of these Oswald cartoons, but when he tried to get some additional money from his distributor for a second year of the cartoons, he found out that the distributor had gone behind his back and signed up almost all of his animators(ˈanəˌmātər), hoping to make the Oswald cartoons in his own studio for less money without Walt Disney. On rereading his contract, Walt realized that he did not own the rights to Oswald-the distributor did. It was a painful lesson(ˈlesən) for the young cartoon producer to learn. From then on, he saw to it that he owned everything that he made.

…
https://d23.com/disney-history/

How to Accept a Compliment

By Carolyn Bucior

Alone(əˈlōn) in my office one afternoon, I unpeeled(ˌənˈpēld) the wrapper(ˈrapər) from a square(skwe(ə)r) of chocolate(ˈCHäk(ə)lit,ˈCHôk-) with a deliberate(də) curiosity(ˌkyo͝orēˈäsitē) not associated(-SHē-,əˈsōsēˌātid) with office snacking(snak). As the minty candy(ˈkandē) dissolved(diˈzälv) in my mouth, I read the words printed inside the wrapper: “Accept(akˈsept) a compliment.”

I would normally not say yes to suggestions from strangers who work in what I assume is the marketing department of Dove(dəv) Chocolate, Promises(ˈpräməs) Division(diˈviZHən). But they aren’t alone in their advice(ədˈvīs). “Ladies, why the heck(hek) can’t we take a compliment?” a Prevention(priˈvenCHən) writer asked in a January(ˈjanyo͞oˌerē) headline. The message: C’mon women. Quit(kwit) being apologists(əˈpäləjist). Fully accept the compliments you deserve(dəˈzərv) — without any self-deprecation(ˈdepriˌkāt) or changing of the subject.

Until this point, I would have responded to a compliment — say, on my hair — with half acknowledgment and half distraction(disˈtrakSHən). “Thanks, but [acknowledge recent struggle with hair or hairdresser(ˈhe(ə)rˌdresər)]. Ha ha ha.” Doing so restored(riˈstôr) order. But while a simple “Thank you” was not my style(stīl), I decided to try it.

Walking home from work, I approached(əˈprōCH) a neighbor on a ribbon(ˈribən) of sidewalk that passes for Main Street in our Wisconsin(wisˈkänsən) town. I smiled and waved as we neared each other. Caren(krən) smiled and waved back and when I was within earshot(ˈi(ə)rˌSHät), she shouted(SHout), “I like your dress!”

…
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/17/opinion/sunday/how-accept-compliment.html

When You Have a Voice Telling You You’re Inadequate(inˈadikwət)

By Leo Babauta

This week I had conversations with a couple of loved ones who struggle(ˈstrəgəl) with an inner voice that tells them that something is wrong with them. It made me think about many years where I felt this sense(sens) of inadequacy(inˈadikwəsē), a deep sense of not being worthy(ˈwərT͟Hē). I still struggle with it sometimes.

This is a particularly(pə(r)ˈtikyələrlē) difficult problem, because it affects everything in our lives. It causes us to struggle with trust and insecurity(ˌinsiˈkyo͝oriti) in our relationships (personal and work). It makes us less happy with ourselves and more likely to catastrophize(kə’tæstrəfaiz) when something goes wrong.

This last bit makes it hard when we are working on improving our sense of self-worth(wərTH), but then we mess up and because we have a feeling something is wrong with us, we are harsh(härSH) on ourselves and our efforts fall apart.

So what can we do when we have this inner critic(ˈkritik), this voice inside us that doesn’t seem to feel that we’re worthy?

There’s no magic(ˈmajik) bullet(ˈbo͝olit), but here’s what I’ve found to help.

The Practice of Self-Compassion(kəmˈpaSHən)

The first place to start is with the ancient(ˈānCHənt) meditation of compassion and loving-kindness. This is because when we have been beating ourselves up for years, there’s a deep sense of pain and a lack of kindness to ourselves. We need to reverse this, every day.

So the practice is just to take a minute every single morning (or evening), notice your pain, and silently wish for it to end. Wish for your own happiness. Then do the same for people you know.

For example, you might repeat each of these phrases(frāz) three times, trying to genuinely(ˈjenyo͞oin) feel these wishes in your heart:

May there be an end to my suffering.

May I be happy.

(Thinking of someone you care about) May there be an end to their suffering.

(Thinking of someone you care about) May they be happy.

…
https://zenhabits.net/goodness/

I was a confirmed(kənˈfərmd) cynic(ˈsinik), then I had kids

By Angela(j) Robertson

When I was in college one of my classmates called me a cynic. I was immediately offended(əˈfendid), but when I went home and reflected on his remark, I realized he was right. I was spending most of my 20s camouflaging(-ˌfläj,ˈkaməˌfläZH) the cynicism(ˈsinəˌsizəm) by calling myself cheeky(ˈCHēkē) or sarcastic(särˈkastik). I told people I was just doling(dōl) out the truth as I saw it. This truth, of course, was always of the overly(ˈōvərlē) skeptical(ˈskeptikəl), glass half-empty type.

If I was walking down the sidewalk on a beautiful day and someone pointed out a rainbow(ˈrānˌbō), I probably wouldn’t have bothered to look up. I most likely would have responded with “cool,” in the most pitch-perfect insincerity.

I was spending a lot of time fuming(fyo͞om) over the minutiae(-SHēˌī,məˈn(y)o͞oSHēˌē) of my day. In my head, I obsessed(əbˈses) over the details of a car cutting me off in traffic or the cashier(kaˈSHi(ə)r) at the grocery(ˈgrōs(ə)rē) store(stôr) who most definitely(ˈdefənitlē) rolled her eyes at me. I stewed(st(y)o͞od) on these interactions, serving them up in conversation(ˌkänvərˈsāSHən) to family and friends, as if I were acting out an episode(ˈepiˌsōd) of Seinfeld. Except I wasn’t funny – I was sour(ˈsou(ə)r).

Then I had kids.

And like most new parents, everyone from neighbours(ˈnābər) to complete strangers, showered(ˈSHou(-ə)r) me with parenting advice(ədˈvīs) and clichés(kli-,klēˈSHā kli-,ˈklēˌSHā). They patted me on the back and said things like “being a parent is the hardest job you’ll ever have,” and “the days will be long, but the years short.” In time, I found all of their proclamations(ˌpräkləˈmāSHən) to be true. But something else was also happening. Feelings were bubbling(ˈbəbəl) up from under that thick(THik) layer of cynicism I had built up over the years.

…
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-i-was-a-confirmed-cynic-then-i-had-kids/

Conserving Mental(ˈmentl) Energy(ˈenərjē)

By Steve Pavlina

In a Vanity(ˈvanətē) Fair(fe(ə)r) profile(ˈprōˌfīl) piece(pēs) from 2012, writer Michael Lewis(ˈlo͞o-is) shared some of President(ˈprez(ə)dənt,ˈprezəˌdent) Obama’s productivity habits.

One of those habits involved routinizing(ro͞oˈtēˌnīz,ˈro͞otnˌīz) mundane(ˌmənˈdān) daily decisions. Since Obama has to make many difficult high-level decisions each day, he doesn’t want to waste(wāst) his mental energy on smaller decisions. So he puts the mundane choices on autopilot(ˈpīlət).

For instance(ˈinstəns), the article states that Obama only wears blue and gray(grā) suits(so͞ot). He keeps his wardrobe(ˈwôrˌdrōb) choices simple, so he doesn’t bleed(blēd) off mental energy fussing(fəs) over what to wear.

Obama follows the same structured daily routine(ro͞oˈtēn) when he’s in the White House: Get up at 7am, go to the gym(jim) and exercise for 45 minutes, shower, get dressed(dres), eat breakfast(ˈbrekfəst), glance(glans) through the newspapers, review the daily security(siˈkyo͝oritē) briefing(ˈbrēfiNG), and then head to the Oval Office(ˈōvəl). In the evenings his family goes to bed around 10pm, but he stays up till 1am working solo(ˈsōlō), including preparing for the next day.

Much of his actual work involves making decisions. The easy decisions are made by others, so the ones that reach him are usually the tough(təf) ones; they’re the types of decisions that don’t have obvious(ˈäbvēəs) correct(kəˈrekt) answers. Such decisions require careful thought and often involve difficult trade-offs(trād) and significant(sigˈnifikənt) risk(risk). Making these decisions is a key responsibility.

To conserve his mental energy for thoughtfully considering options and making decisions, Obama does his best to avoid wasting(wāst) this energy on low-impact decisions like what to eat or what to wear. He either lets other people make those simpler decisions for them, or he makes those decisions once and puts them on autopilot, so he doesn’t have to think about them repeatedly.

How much mental energy do you squander(ˈskwändər) on low-priority decisions each day? Could you make those decisions once and put them on autopilot?

…
https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2014/02/conserving-mental-energy/