Rebel developers are trying to cure(kyo͝or) our smartphone addiction(əˈdikSHən) — with an app(ˌapliˈkāSHən)

By William(ˈwilyəm) Wan

To understand why it’s so hard to pry(prī) yourself free from your phone, Facebook account and Twitter(ˈtwitər), you need to know about B.F. Skinner’s(ˈskinər) pigeons(ˈpijən).

In the 1950s, Skinner began putting the birds in a box and training(ˈtrāniNG) them to peck(pek) on a piece(pēs) of plastic(ˈplastik) whenever they wanted food. Then the Harvard psychology(sīˈkäləjē) researcher rigged(rig) the system so that not every peck would yield(yēld) a tasty(ˈtāstē) treat(trēt). It became random — a reward every three pecks, then five pecks, then two pecks.

The pigeons went crazy(ˈkrāzē) and began pecking compulsively(kəmˈpəlsiv) for hours on end.

Fast forward six decades. We have become the pigeons pecking at our iPhones, scrolling(ˈskrōliNG) through news feeds, swiping left/right on Tinder for hours, the uncertainty(ˌənˈsərtntē) of what we might find keeping us obsessed(əbˈses) by design(dəˈzīn).

In the modern economy of tablets(ˈtablit) and apps, our attention(əˈtenCHən) has become the most valuable(ˈvaly(o͞o)əbəl) commodity(kəˈmäditē). Tech companies have armies(ˈärmē) of behavioral(biˈhāvyərəl) researchers whose sole(sōl) job is to apply principles like Skinner’s variable(ˈve(ə)rēəbəl) rewards to grab and hold our focus as often and long as possible.

But some people are starting to fight back. A small but growing number of behavioral scientists and former Silicon(-kən,ˈsiləˌkän) Valley(ˈvalē) developers have begun trying to counterprogram those news alerts(əˈlərt), friend requests and updates crowding our waking hours.

Increasingly, the rebel developers are using fire to fight fire — creating apps that try to put users back in control. They call their movement “digital wellness,” and in recent weeks, they scored two huge victories(ˈvikt(ə)rē) when Google and Apple announced plans to incorporate(ˈkôrp(ə)rət) some aspects(ˈaspekt) of digital-wellness apps — like allowing users to track(trak) their screen time — into upcoming Android(ˈanˌdroid) and iPhone operating(ˈäpəˌrāt) systems.

…
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/rebel-developers-are-trying-to-cure-our-smartphone-addiction--with-an-app/2018/06/17/153e2282-6a81-11e8-bea7-c8eb28bc52b1_story.html

What’s the difference between like, love, and in-love?

By Derek Sivers

What’s the difference(ˈdif(ə)rəns) between like, love, and in-love?

How do you know when you love someone instead of just liking them a lot?

How do you know when you’re “in-love” with someone instead of just loving them as a person?

I asked a bunch(bənCH) of friends these questions, and got a huge variety(vəˈrīətē) of answers:

“If I like anything about someone, I like them. If I like everything about someone, I love them. If I like everything about someone and we have great sex(seks), I’m in love.”

“Like is liking someone, but conditionally(kənˈdiSHənl). Love is liking someone unconditionally. In-love is just glorification of a temporary(ˈtempəˌrerē) infatuation(inˌfaCHo͞oˈāSHən). Eventually(iˈvenCHo͞oəlē) it becomes love.”

“This sounds morbid(ˈmôrbəd), but I think of it in terms of how I’d react if they died. If I like someone and they died, I’d be sad and cry(krī) once or twice. If I love someone and they died, I’d be devastated(ˈdevəˌstāt) and cry for days or weeks. If I’m in love with someone and they died, I’d want to die too.”

How do you know?

Do other languages have different terms for “love” versus(-səz,ˈvərsəs) “in love” that make it more poetically(pōˈetik) distinct(disˈtiNGkt)?

https://sivers.org/inlove

helping the wholeness find its way forward

By Henry Walker

Happy Father’s Day!

I love good parenting,
for I see every child
as a wholeness that can need help
in finding a right way forward,
in the last decades I have taught the children
of gay(gā) and lesbian(ˈlezbēən) couples,
I have taught children adopted,
as well as those from traditional(trəˈdiSHənl) families,

I am often in awe(ô) of the good parenting I have seen,
I am particularly(pə(r)ˈtikyələrlē) in awe of the parent who chooses,
with eyes wide-open, to unconditionally(kənˈdiSHənl) love a child
who does not share their genes(jēn),

similarly(ˈsimələrlē), I appreciate(əˈprēSHēˌāt) the father(ˈfäT͟Hər)
who gives his all to the child,
who makes his own way
to the little one, to the bigger one,
even though he hasn’t carried the child to term,
even though evolution(ˌevəˈlo͞oSHən) hasn’t worked
to bond him as firmly to the raising(rāz),

every parent must choose how much to commit to the child,
I celebrate(ˈseləˌbrāt) whenever a parent gives their best,
this Father’s Day, I particularly celebrate our sons
for the enormous(iˈnôrməs) love which flows from them
and for how well they choose to give that love
to the raising of their children.

http://henryspoetry.blogspot.com/2018/06/helping-wholeness-find-its-way-forward.html

The Dangers(ˈdānjər) of Distracted(disˈtraktəd) Parenting(ˈpar-,ˈpe(ə)rənt)

When it comes to children’s development, parents should worry less about kids’ screen time—and more about their own.

By Erika Christakis

Smartphones have by now been implicated(ˈimpliˌkāt) in so many crummy(ˈkrəmē) outcomes—car fatalities(fāˈtalətē,fə-), sleep disturbances(disˈtərbəns), empathy(ˈempəTHē) loss(läs,lôs), relationship problems, failure(ˈfālyər) to notice(ˈnōtis) a clown(kloun) on a unicycle(ˈyo͞onəˌsīkəl)—that it almost seems easier to list the things they don’t mess up than the things they do. Our society(səˈsīətē) may be reaching peak criticism(ˈkritəˌsizəm) of digital(ˈdijitl) devices.

Even so, emerging(iˈmərj) research suggests that a key problem remains underappreciated(ˌəndərəˈprēSHiāt). It involves kids’ development, but it’s probably not what you think. More than screen-obsessed(əbˈses) young children, we should be concerned(kənˈsərnd) about tuned-out parents.

Yes, parents now have more face time with their children than did almost any parents in history. Despite a dramatic(drəˈmatik) increase in the percentage(pərˈsentij) of women in the workforce, mothers today astoundingly(əˈstoundiNG) spend more time caring(ˈke(ə)riNG) for their children than mothers did in the 1960s. But the engagement(enˈgājmənt) between parent and child is increasingly low-quality(ˈkwälətē), even ersatz(-ˌzäts,erˈzäts,ˈerˌsäts). Parents are constantly(ˈkänstəntlē) present(priˈzent,ˈprezənt) in their children’s lives physically, but they are less emotionally(iˈmōSHənəl) attuned(əˈt(y)o͞on). To be clear, I’m not unsympathetic(ˌənˌsimpəˈTHetik) to parents in this predicament(priˈdikəmənt). My own adult children like to joke that they wouldn’t have survived(sərˈvīv) infancy(ˈinfənsē) if I’d had a smartphone in my clutches(kləCH
) 25 years ago.

To argue(ˈärgyo͞o) that parents’ use of screens is an underappreciated problem isn’t to discount the direct(diˈrekt,dī-) risks screens pose to children: Substantial(səbˈstanCHəl) evidence suggests that many types of screen time (especially those involving fast-paced or violent(ˈvī(ə)lənt) imagery(ˈimij(ə)rē)) are damaging(ˈdamijiNG) to young brains(brān). Today’s preschoolers spend more than four hours a day facing a screen. And, since 1970, the average(ˈav(ə)rij) age of onset of “regular” screen use has gone from 4 years to just four months.

…
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/

It’s Not a Problem, It’s an Experience(ikˈspi(ə)rēəns)

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely(kəmˈplētlē) awake is to be continually(kənˈtinyo͞oəlē) thrown out of the nest(nest).” ~Pema Chodron

By Leo Babauta

Life has its down periods(ˈpi(ə)rēəd): your boss is unhappy with you, your business is struggling(ˈstrəgəl), you get into a fight(fīt) with the love of your life, your finances(fəˈnans,ˈfīnans) are tight(tīt), you aren’t getting good sleep, you get sick or have chronic(ˈkränik) pain.

Our way of dealing with this is usually to do one or more of the following:

Get away from the problem — quit(kwit) your job, break up with your partner, or stop caring. Anything you can do to exit(ˈegzit,ˈeksit).

Ignore(igˈnôr) the problem — just don’t think about it. Pretend(priˈtend) nothing’s wrong. Think about anything else.

Comfort yourself — drink, smoke, food, TV, Internet, porn, social media, games. Anything to take your mind off the difficulties.

Complain — lash(laSH) out at someone, rant(rant), moan(mōn) about it to a friend, feel resentful(riˈzentfəl), tell yourself that the other person is the problem (because they are, right?!).

There’s nothing wrong with any of these things. Don’t feel guilty(ˈgiltē) if you do them. Sometimes, they can be soothing(ˈso͞oT͟HiNG) or helpful. Talking to someone about your problems, for example, is a good idea. Giving yourself some rest so that you are better prepared to take on the world’s problems … that’s not a bad idea too.

But trying to avoid the problem, exit from it, or even comfort yourself — these have limited effectiveness(iˈfektivnis). We know that by now, because despite(diˈspīt) our best efforts, the down times keep happening. We get in a slump(sləmp), we get miserable(ˈmiz(ə)rəbəl), we feel down.

Here’s a mental(ˈmentl) shift that might help: when you’re feeling hurt, sad, angry, overburdened … think of it not as a problem, but as an experience.

Fully feel whatever pain or sadness or anger you’re feeling.

Stop avoiding it and just feel it. Truly allow yourself to feel it.

And as you feel it, don’t think of the difficult feeling as a problem you need to solve. A thing you need to get rid(rid) of. Think of it as an experience you’re having.

It’s not a problem, it’s an experience.

…
https://zenhabits.net/noprob/

Post Your Goals(gōl) Where You Can See Them

By Steve Pavlina

One simple tip(tip) for staying on track(trak) towards your goals is to write your weekly goals on a marker board in your office. This isn’t a to do list. It’s a list of the important items you expect(ikˈspekt) to have accomplished(əˈkämpliSHt) by the end of the week. On the left side I write my primary(ˈprīm(ə)rē,ˈprīˌmerē) goals for the week (maximum(ˈmaksəməm) of 3), and on the right side I list my secondary(ˈsekənˌderē) goals (this week I have 9 of those). I setup(ˈsetˌəp) my primary goals such that achieving even one of them is better than achieving all the secondary goals combined(ˈkämˌbīn).

Whenever you achieve one of your weekly goals, just draw a line through it. Don’t erase(iˈrās
) anything. Then at the end of the week, your marker board contains your accountability(əˌkountəˈbilitē) record for the week. You can see which goals you achieved and which you didn’t, and then you can think about how you can improve next week. Maybe you tried to do too much. Maybe you succumbed(səˈkəm) to too many distractions. Maybe you achieved most of your secondary goals but none of your primaries. Or maybe you achieved all your goals and believe you can push yourself a bit more next week.

I keep most of my planning docs and lists on my PC and then print them out on paper periodically(ˌpi(ə)rēˈädikəl), but I like using the marker board in my office for posting my weekly goals. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the actions of the day and not be able to see the forest(ˈfär-,ˈfôrəst) for the trees, and when you look at your long-term goals, they may seem very distant(ˈdistənt). So I like having these weekly mini-milestones(ˈmīlˌstōn), since there’s a natural rhythm(ˈriT͟Həm) to a week, and when I do my weekly review and update all my planning docs, a quick glance(glans) at my marker board helps me set new mini-goals for the coming week.

…
https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/02/post-your-goals-where-you-can-see-them/

微信为何不做大信息流

微信公众平台有丰富的内容资源，为何它只做了一个隐藏很深的『看一看』？

最近，它仅仅用『订阅号消息』的方式提高用户查看关注公众号的频率，仅此而已。
很多人分析，将订阅内容做成信息流的方式，并且只展示标题、图片，而省略了summary，这样会加重标题党。同时，张小龙也说此举想提升阅读效率，但将summary加上，不更加提升阅读效率吗？

但是细想一下，订阅内容是用户已订阅的，通过吸引人的标题，对一个已经很熟的用户来说，有什么意义，相反，如果长期靠标题吸引主人，用户每天看到自己的『订阅号信息』中一个接着一个的惊叹号，会是什么感受，严重的情况用户会取消关注，而取消关注后，再也不会出现在订阅信息中了。而且，微信也将『取消关注』的操作做的更加便捷。通过将标题集中展示，当所有人都到了无法忍受的时候，改变迟早要发生。这或许是想督促作者对标题和封面更加重视，或将此作为减少公众号标题党的手段之一。微信公众平台作为超大的内容生产平台，有能力这样做。

『订阅号消息』是为了留住用户并且让用户作为内容质量的推动者，而『看一看』则是为了让用户发现新内容。但似乎『看一看』在微信这样的聊天软件中的地位太低了，无法给作者带来太多的新增关注，以至于大家都通过各种方式诱导关注。除非他有勇气将『看一看』单独放在一个tab，不过那样，太过于冒险，可能拣了芝麻丢了西瓜。或者，更稳妥的办法是单独做基于微信公众号的阅读app，但这样又会面临与目前已经做大的新闻阅读类产品展开竞争。这似乎陷入了一个怪圈，附属品终究需要脱离主体独立发展才有希望做大，否则永远是二等公民，但现在才出去做又已落后于市场上的竞争对手。再想一想，是否可以将聊天的功能拓展到文章，以此提升公众号的活跃度，而不仅仅是被放在最底部的评论？

微信似乎并不心切做『信息流』，而只是在给订阅号打鸡血，顺便在做『优质内容平台』。

幸福的家庭都是相似的，不幸的家庭各有各的不幸。

ADIDAS(ə): NO ATHLETE(ˈaTHˌlēt) LEFT BEHIND(biˈhīnd). NOT THEN, NOT NOW.

Originally Adi was supposed to be a baker(ˈbākər). Well, he decided against this and was rewarded with leaving quite(kwīt) a mark on sports history. The story about his rise(rīz) from humble(ˈhəmbəl) shoemaker(ˈSHo͞oˌmākər) to global game changer, entrepreneur(-ˈnər,ˌäntrəprəˈno͝or) and, eventually, founder of adidas, is well documented. The ideas, principles and the special attitude(ˈatiˌt(y)o͞od) of this incredibly(inˈkredəblē) creative inventor(inˈventər) are still with us today. In everything we do. It’s even fair to say that the principle he based his life and work on remains the foundation of our company: no athlete left behind. Welcome to adidas.

Adi Dassler’s(ä) simple yet brilliant(ˈbrilyənt) idea was to provide each athlete with the best possible equipment(iˈkwipmənt) to enable peak performances. This vision(ˈviZHən) would change everything. His strong belief in it made him ignore(igˈnôr) his father’s idea that his son would make an excellent(ˈeksələnt) baker. Instead the very passionate(ˈpaSHənit) athlete repurposed(rēˈpərpəs) his mother’s tiny(ˈtīnē) wash(wäSH,wôSH
) kitchen to follow his own dream. So, yes, we guess you could say that adidas was started in a wash kitchen.

Just like it always is with these stories when people found companies in random places or discover medical breakthroughs(ˈbrākˌTHro͞o) by accident(ˈaksidənt), Adi had no idea how many sports he would help to revolutionise(ˌrevəˈlo͞oSHəˌnīz) and that he would be involved(inˈvälvd) in a football miracle(ˈmirikəl). In 1954 adidas screw(skro͞o)-in studs(stəd) helped the German(ˈjərmən) national team to win the Football World Cup final against Hungary(ˈhəNGgərē) – a team that seemed to stand head and shoulders above all other teams. How could he have guessed all of this when he sat for the first time in his mother’s wash kitchen? He wasn’t able to know that he was about to found a company that has become an integral(inˈteg-,ˈintigrəl) part and driving force of today’s sports landscape.

His shoes have become iconic(īˈkänik) names in footwear(ˈfo͝otˌwer) history. The company he built and its 3-Stripes(strīp) trademark(ˈtrādˌmärk) are visible(ˈvizəbəl) at almost every major sporting event around the world. His inventions(inˈvenSHən) are still being studied and quoted(kwōt), examined(igˈzamən) and copied. At the core of it all is one simple desire(dəˈzī(ə)r): make the best for each athlete.

Not bad for a guy who was supposed to be a baker.

…
https://www.adidas-group.com/en/brands/adidas/no-athlete-left-behind-not-then-not-now/

A Life of Peacefulness

By Leo Babauta

Most of us want a greater sense of peace(pēs) and ease(ēz) in our lives — life can be stressful(ˈstresfəl), chaotic(kāˈätik), overwhelming(ˌōvərˈ(h)welmiNG), full of distractions(disˈtrakSHən), exhausting(igˈzôstiNG).

We want to get away from all of that, exit(ˈegzit,ˈeksit) the madness(ˈmadnəs), and get to a place of greater peace.

I’m going to share how to find that life of peacefulness in one simple method(ˈmeTHəd). In a minute.

First let’s look at the biggest mistake we make: trying to escape(iˈskāp) the stress and chaos(ˈkāˌäs).

To escape the chaos, we do a lot of things:

Try to get our world in order, trying to control everything

Distract(disˈtrakt) ourselves, because it’s all too much

Comfort ourselves from the stress, with TV, food, drink, drugs(drəg), social media

Hide from all the things we do, try not to think about it all

Complain(kəmˈplān) about it, about the burden(ˈbərdn) of it all

End a relationship, an arrangement(əˈrānjmənt), a commitment(kəˈmitmənt), because you don’t want to feel bad anymore

Stress out, rush(rəSH), constantly(ˈkänstəntlē) feel busy

You might recognize(ˈrekigˌnīz,ˈrekə(g)ˌnīz) some of your reactions to stress and chaos in this list, or maybe you have other strategies(ˈstratəjē). But in the end, it’s all about trying to escape, to exit, a desire(dəˈzī(ə)r) to get away from it all and get a sense of peace.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to get away from difficulty or pain. If you’re in true danger or abuse(əˈbjuz), get out. But most of the time, it might be a path of growth to not exit. To stay, to face the stress and chaos with a sense of bravery(ˈbrāv(ə)rē). And then to find peace in the middle of the chaos.

You can create a life of peacefulness in the middle of this overwhelming, stressful, busy, chaotic world. If you don’t run, but instead find the fearlessness to be with it fully.

…
https://zenhabits.net/peacefulness/

Duanwu Stories

Qu Yuan

The story best known in modern(ˈmädərn) China holds that the festival(ˈfestəvəl) commemorates(kəˈmeməˌrāt) the death of the poet(ˈpōit,ˈpōət) and minister(ˈminəstər) Qu Yuan of the ancient(ˈānCHənt) state of Chu during the Warring States period(ˈpi(ə)rēəd) of the Zhou Dynasty(ˈdīnəstē). A cadet(kəˈdet) member of the Chu royal(ˈroiəl) house, Qu served in high offices. However, when the king decided to ally with the increasingly(iNG-,inˈkrēsiNGlē) powerful state of Qin, Qu was banished(ˈbaniSH) for opposing(əˈpōziNG) the alliance(əˈlīəns
) and even accused(əˈkyo͞ozd) of treason(ˈtrēzən). During his exile(ˈegˌzīl,ˈekˌsīl), Qu Yuan wrote a great deal of poetry(ˈpōitrē,ˈpōətrē). Twenty-eight years later, Qin captured Ying, the Chu capital. In despair(diˈspe(ə)r), Qu Yuan committed suicide(ˈso͞oiˌsīd) by drowning(droun) himself in the Miluo River.

It is said that the local people, who admired him, raced out in their boats to save him, or at least retrieve(riˈtrēv) his body. This is said to have been the origin(ˈôrəjən) of dragon(ˈdragən) boat races. When his body could not be found, they dropped balls of sticky(ˈstikē) rice into the river so that the fish would eat them instead of Qu Yuan’s body. This is said to be the origin of zongzi.

Wu Zixu

Despite(diˈspīt) the modern popularity(ˌpäpyəˈlaritē) of the Qu Yuan origin theory(ˈTHi(ə)rē,ˈTHēərē), in the former territory(ˈterəˌtôrē) of the Kingdom of Wu, the festival commemorated Wu Zixu, the Premier(prēˈm(y)i(ə)r,ˈprēmēər,ˈprēˌmi(ə)r) of Wu. Xi Shi, a beautiful woman sent by King Goujian of the state of Yue, was much loved by King Fuchai of Wu. Wu Zixu, seeing the dangerous plot of Goujian, warned Fuchai, who became angry at this remark. Wu Zixu was forced to commit suicide(ˈso͞oiˌsīd) by Fuchai, with his body thrown into the river on the fifth day of the fifth month. After his death, in places such as Suzhou, Wu Zixu is remembered during the Duanwu Festival.

Cao E

Although Wu Zixu is commemorated in southeast(ˌsouTHˈēst) Jiangsu and Qu Yuan elsewhere in China, much of Northeastern Zhejiang including the cities of Shaoxing, Ningbo and Zhoushan celebrates(ˈseləˌbrāt) the memory of the young girl Cao E instead. Cao E’s father Cao Xu was a shaman(ˈSHämən,ˈSHā-) who presided(priˈzīd) over local ceremonies(ˈserəˌmōnē) at Shangyu. In 143, while presiding over a ceremony commemorating Wu Zixu during the Duanwu Festival, Cao Xu accidentally(ˌaksiˈdentl) fell into the Shun River. Cao E, in an act of filial(ˈfilyəl,ˈfilēəl) piety(ˈpī-itē), decided to find her father in the river, searching for 3 days trying to find him. After five days, she and her father were both found dead in the river from drowning. Eight years later, in 151, a temple(ˈtempəl) was built in Shangyu dedicated(ˈdediˌkātid) to the memory of Cao E and her sacrifice(ˈsakrəˌfīs) for filial piety. The Shun River was renamed Cao’e River in her honour(ˈänər).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon_Boat_Festival