The Heartbreaking Effects of Being Only Partly Committed to Most Things

The Heartbreaking Effects of Being Only Partly Committed to Most Things

By Leo Babauta

If we’re absolutely honest with ourselves, most of us are only half-committed to most things — in many cases, much less than half-committed.

We say that we’re going to change our diet(ˈdīət), but are we fully committed? Do we make a meal plan and buy the groceries(ˈgrōs(ə)rē) and clear out the junk(jəNGk) food and set time in our calendar to prep(prep) meals for the week and change our habit of eating out much of the time?

Do we feel so committed in our hearts that we’d bet(bet) our lives on it?

We make a commitment at work (to our team, client, partner) but we don’t fully show up. We get distracted(dəˈstraktəd), we procrastinate, we are only half in it much of the time. We do the same thing to the people we love — we’re only half there for them.

How often do we show up fully, with deep commitment?

This is not about blaming(blām) or shaming(SHām), not about being judgmental(ˌjəjˈmen(t)l) or criticizing(ˈkridəˌsīz) ourselves. This is about getting clear on whether we’re fully committed to anything, and getting very clear on the effects of that in our lives.

How often do we let others down, not showing up like we promised we would, not delivering like we promised we would? How often do we let ourselves down? How often do we stay on our phones when our loved ones are craving(ˈkrāviNG) our attention?

And how does it affect those around us, and ourselves, and our work in the world?

It’s heartbreaking:

We lose(lo͞oz) trust in ourselves, beat(bēt) ourselves up for failing again, create a negative self-image, which affects everything.
We form the habit of shrinking(SHriNGk) away from scary(ˈske(ə)rē) and hard things, staying in our comfort zones, playing a smaller game.
We lose the trust of others, and break their hearts when they hope we’ll be fully there for them.
We come across as flaky(ˈflākē), wishy-washy(ˈwäSHē,ˈwôSHē), late for things, untrustable, which creates a sense of not being safe, not being able to relax, in others. We feel their not being able to trust us and not being able to relax with us, and that feels hurtful in us.
We never feel the joy of showing up powerfully in the world, of being incredibly committed, of deepening(ˈdēpəniNG) into that commitment.

Again, this is nothing to feel shameful or guilty(ˈgiltē) about, or beat ourselves up about. It’s about letting our hearts be broken by how we let others down and let ourselves down, and creating a commitment to showing up fully in the world, powerfully, with full commitment.

How do we do that? It’s a practice…

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https://zenhabits.net/the-heartbreaking-effects-of-being-only-partly-committed-to-most-things/