Loving what I used to hate

Loving what I used to hate(hāt)

By Derek Sivers

You have to be careful when you say like or dislike something, because you could change your mind soon.

The first time I heard Tom Waits’ music, when he was a guest on David(ˈdāvid) Letterman(ˈledərmən), I thought it was so horrible(ˈhär-,ˈhôrəbəl) that it must be a joke. Even years later(ˈlādər) when I heard him again, I hated it passionately(ˈpaSH(ə)nətlē). But then I heard his cover version(ˈvərZHən) of “It’s All Right With Me” by Cole(kōl) Porter(ˈpôrtər), and loved it. So I got his album(ˈalbəm) “Rain Dogs” and fell in love with it, and the rest of his music too. The funny thing is I found his old performance on YouTube of my new favorite song, and realized it was that same appearance(əˈpi(ə)rəns) on David Letterman that I hated so much before.

I had no prejudice(ˈprejədəs) against Indonesia(ˌindəˈnēZHə) at first. I was running cdbaby.com out of my bedroom, selling CDs to the world. I started getting huge orders from Indonesia, shipping thousands of dollars of CDs there. Then after a few months, the banks told me those were fraudulent(ˈfrôjələnt) orders placed with stolen(ˈstōlən) credit(ˈkredət) cards, and took the money back. I cursed(ˈkərsəd, kərst) Indonesia as a “nation of thieves(THēvz)” and blocked all Indonesian(ˌindəˈnēZHən) orders on my site.

Ten years later I was living in Singapore(ˈsiNGəˌpôr), and was invited to speak at TEDxJakarta(jəˈkärtə). I listened to twenty Indonesian speakers telling their stories, and showing their amazing(əˈmāziNG) work. It was so heart-warming and endearing(inˈdiriNG, enˈdiriNG). I spent a week in the home of my new Indonesian friends, and fell in love with the people there. It wasn’t until afterwards that I remembered I used to hate Indonesia. It’s a nice reminder(rəˈmīndər) how experience erases(əˈrās) prejudice.

Same thing with weightlifting(ˈwātˌliftiNG). For decades I mocked it as the mindless activity of dumb(dəm) vain(vān) jocks(jäks). Then I kept reading scientific(ˌsīənˈtifik) research showing it’s one of the best thing you can do for your health. So I tried it, and loved it.

Of course there are examples going the other way, too: food and music I used to like as a teenager, that I don’t like anymore.

I have to smile, thinking what my former self would say. But the former self is not always right. We shouldn’t preserve(prəˈzərv) our first opinions(əˈpinyən) as if they are our pure(pyo͝or), untarnished(ˌənˈtärniSHt), true nature. They’re often just inexperience(ˌinikˈspi(ə)rēəns) or a temporary(ˈtempəˌrerē) phase(fāz). It would be dangerous to decide and declare that those past opinions define who we are in the future.

So now, when I hear myself saying I love or hate something, I have to remember that could change soon, and I should give it another try.

https://sivers.org/hate