The Best Things I’ve Learned About Raising Children

The Best Things I’ve Learned About Raising(rāz) Children(ˈCHildrən)

By Leo Babauta

I don’t consider myself a parenting(ˈpar-,ˈpe(ə)rənt) expert(ˈekˌspərt), but I have helped raise six kids (along with their mothers), and being a father has been one of the most rewarding(riˈwôrdiNG) things in my life.

And while I’m not a perfect father, I think I’m pretty(ˈpridē) good at it. Mostly because I absolutely love it.

Eva and I also have some slightly(ˈslītlē) non-conventional(kənˈvenCHənl) parenting ideas that might be useful to parents who are always looking for new ways of thinking about things.

So I’m going to share the best things I’ve learned about raising children, not because my way is the best, but because it’s always helpful to have a discussion(dəˈskəSH(ə)n) about parenting.

A really important note: Much of the work of parenting, if not most, was done by my kids’ moms (my wife Eva and my first two kids’ mom). I can only take a little credit(ˈkredit).

Here are some of the best things I’ve learned:

Your main job is just to love them.

Don’t hover — let them fall sometimes.

Harsh(härSH) disciplinarian(ˌdisəpləˈnerēən) methods are more hurtful(ˈhərtfəl) than helpful.

Reading to them regularly is one of the best things I’ve ever done.

Let them direct their own learning.

But give them fun challenges and encourage them to try new things.

Teach them to do things on their own, early.

Let them take charge of things or participate(pärˈtisəˌpāt) in work when you can.

Try a democratic(ˌdeməˈkratik) process of decision(dəˈsiZHən)-making.

Practice mindfulness with them.

The main(mān) way you teach them is by your example.

Don’t pretend(priˈtend) like you know everything.

Admit(ədˈmit) when you’re wrong.

Let them earn and pay for things early.

Don’t shield(SHēld) them from sex and drugs and technology.

It’s OK to hang out without them, and let them have separate time from you.

Parenting ain’t(ānt) over when they reach adulthood.

In the end, they will be the person they are. You don’t get to decide who that is.

I’m still learning. I still don’t know what the hell(hel) I’m doing. And yet, I hope some of what I’ve learned so far will help a few of you.

I love being a dad. It’s an incredible(inˈkredəbəl) privilege(ˈpriv(ə)lij), and one of the deepest joys in my life. Thank you kids. And moms.

https://zenhabits.net/childs/