Pirate

Pirate(ˈpīrət)
PIRATE

INT: PRINCIPAL’S(ˈprinsəpəl) OFFICE — DAY

The child, dressed(dres) as a pirate, is sitting sullenly(ˈsələn) in a chair(CHer) while the principal writes out a behavior slip at her desk.

CHILD

(angry and embarrassed(əmˈberəst), near tears(ter))

I don’t know why I’m in here. My mom said that I could wear(we(ə)r) what I want to school as long as it isn’t underwear(ˈəndərˌwer) on my head, and pirates don’t wear underwear on their head. The hook isn’t even real, so it’s not a weapon(ˈwepən). Jake(jāk) should be the one getting in trouble, because he’s the one who pushed Crissey off the play structure. I didn’t do it! I didn’t. All I said was that she had to walk the plank(plaNGk).

She should get in trouble too, because if she had walked the plank like I told her, nobody would’ve pushed her off and she wouldn’t have landed on Rob(räb). That was all her fault! She landed on him on purpose(ˈpərpəs) because she likes him and wants to kiss him and stuff. She’s always chasing(CHās) him around on the blacktop and one time she said she was going to marry him and he told her she was gross(grōs). She should be the one getting a behavior slip! She should get in trouble because she’s a liar(ˈlīər) and a tattletale(ˈtadlˌtāl) and all I wanted to do was play a fun game and she ruined(ˈro͞oin) everything.

Mrs. K said that all the world’s a stage(stāj) and we all get to be the players, so I don’t get why I can’t be a pirate. You should be allowed to be what you want, and other people should have to listen. This isn’t fair(fe(ə)r) and I don’t like it and I want my mom. I won’t apologize(əˈpäləˌjīz). I won’t. Pirates don’t ever have to say they’re sorry.

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