The Stories That Stop Us From Being Present & Taking Action

The Stories(ˈstôrē) That Stop Us From Being Present(priˈzent,ˈprezənt) & Taking Action

Most of us have spent our lives caught up in plans, expectations(ˌekspekˈtāSHən), ambitions(amˈbiSHən) for the future; in regrets(riˈgret), guilt(gilt) or shame(SHām) about the past. To come into the present is to stop the war.” ~Jack Kornfield

By Leo Babauta

I get emails(māl) all the time from people who are struggling(ˈstrəgəl) with very common difficulties(ˈdifikəltē):

Wanting to overcome anger
Wanting to deal more calmly(kä(l)m) with stress
Hurt by other people’s inconsiderate(kənˈsidərət) actions
Getting stuck in resentment(riˈzentmənt) and thinking about how others have wronged you
Struggling with change because it’s hard
Struggling with letting go of clutter(ˈklətər) because of various(ˈve(ə)rēəs) emotional(iˈmōSHənəl) attachments(əˈtaCHmənt)
Finding all kinds of obstacles(ˈäbstəkəl) to taking on a project, side hustle(ˈhəsəl), new business, writing(ˈrīdiNG) a book/blog, etc.(et cetera.)

And I completely(kəmˈplētlē) understand these difficulties, because I struggle with them too. Here’s the thing — there are just two things stopping us from being present or taking the action we want to take:

The stories we have in our heads about other people, what’s happening, and ourselves(ou(ə)rˈselvz,är-)
Our habitual(həˈbiCHo͞oəl) pattern of staying in those stories instead of being present or taking action

It’s really one thing: our mental habit of staying stuck in the stories in our heads.

When I say “stories,” this isn’t a judgment about whether(ˈ(h)weT͟Hər) what we’re saying in our heads is true or not. It’s just what our minds do — they make up a narrative(ˈnarətiv) about the world, including other people and ourselves. Our minds are narrative machines. You could see the narrative as true or not, but that’s not the point — the narrative is getting in the way of being present and taking action.

What kind of stories do I mean? I mean things that we make up and spin around in our heads (true or not):

They shouldn’t act that way
If they loved me they wouldn’t be so inconsiderate
This is too hard, I don’t want to do this
I suck, I keep failing(ˈfāliNG), I am inadequate(inˈadikwət)
They keep doing this, I don’t know why they keep doing that to me
They hurt me, they are not a good person
I can’t start my business/blog/project until I learn this, or get to this place in my life, or have perfect peace in my day and am in a good mood
This shouldn’t be happening to me! This sucks!

These stories have some truth to them, which is why we cling(kliNG) to them so much. But these stories block us from being present. They are not helpful.

What would it be like if we didn’t cling to them so much? What if we could develop a mind that clings to nothing?

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https://zenhabits.net/storytime/