The mirror: It’s about you, not them.

The mirror(ˈmirər): It’s about you, not them.

By Derek Sivers

If you see a gorgeous(ˈgôrjəs) painting(ˈpāntiNG) that fascinates(ˈfasəˌnāt) you, does it matter if you find out the artist hasn’t paid her taxes(taks)? Would you stop enjoying the painting?

If some one shows you a great way to memorize(ˈmeməˌrīz) names, does it matter if you find out that person is an alcoholic(-ˈhäl-,ˌalkəˈhôlik)? Would you no longer trust their memorization techniques(tekˈnēk)?

From 1967 to 1976, James Brown made the best funk music ever heard. (You owe(ō) it to yourself to get In the Jungle(ˈjəNGgəl) Groove(gro͞ov) if you haven’t.) He was my biggest musical(ˈmyo͞ozikəl) influence(ˈinflo͝oəns). I’m such a huge fan, I named my band after him. But when working at Warner/Chappell Music in the early 90s, they told me he was coming to the office, I went home early to avoid meeting him. I didn’t want the completely flawed(flôd) man to taint(tānt) that flawless(ˈflôləs) music that changed my life.

When I bought the book “Getting Things Done”, it had the author’s picture on it, so I ripped(ript) the cover off. I don’t care who David Allen is. This book is about me getting things done, not him and his stupid face.

Maybe both seem silly(ˈsilē), but it was important to me to always remember that what matters is what I get out of their work, not the person that made it.

After I interviewed Tim Ferriss, some people said, “But he comes across too cocky(ˈkäkē).”

After I interviewed Amber Rubarth, some people said, “But she’s only successful because she’s so pretty.”

After I interviewed Tom Williams, some people said, “But there’s some controversy(ˈkäntrəˌvərsē) about his new company.”

I hear(hi(ə)r) that as, “Now that I’ve proven they’re not perfect, I don’t have to apply any of the lessons from their story.”

But that’s missing the point that those articles are really about you, not them.

You would benefit from micro-testing the effectiveness(iˈfektivnis) of your actions, or interning to understand your gatekeeper, or persisting every day for a year and a half, no matter who was sharing those lessons.

All that really matters is what you do with the ideas there. Apply them to your own life in your own way.

It was never about them. It’s about you.

https://sivers.org/you-not-them