How to Build a Stronger Ego

How to Build a Stronger Ego(ˈēgō)

By Steve Pavlina

There’s a notion(ˈnōSHən) that’s been spread(spred) around the spiritual(ˈspiriCHo͞oəl) side of the self-help field that suggests one of our primary(ˈprīm(ə)rē,ˈprīˌmerē) aims in life should be ego-less enlightenment(enˈlītnmənt), a state where we achieve near-perfect inner peace, where we’re one with everything but attached(əˈtaCHt) to nothing, and where nothing in the physical(ˈfizikəl) world can knock(näk) us off balance(ˈbaləns).

This creates some personal challenges for me because whenever I write about anything remotely spiritual in nature (and sometimes even when I don’t), some readers assume I’m one of the guys promoting(prəˈmōt) this same sort of ideal(īˈdē(ə)l). Then they question why my behavior doesn’t seem consistent with it.

My behavior isn’t consistent with the pursuit(pərˈso͞ot) of ego-less enlightenment because I have no interest in that path. If other people find value in it, that’s their choice, but I find other paths of development to be much more practical(ˈpraktikəl) and fulfilling(fo͝olˈfiliNG), both for myself and for others I’ve observed over the years.

Do you really want to kill your ego?

Do you even want to weaken it?

In this case I’m using the word ego to refer to your physical world identity(īˈdentitē), mainly your personality(ˌpərsəˈnalitē) and sense of self. I’m not referring to ego in the sense of being arrogant(ˈarəgənt), such as when people say, “So-and-so has a big ego.”

Many spiritual seekers claim(klām) it’s wise to weaken the ego as much as possible. The ones who really go all out with this idea give away all their possessions(pəˈzeSHən), shave(SHāv) their heads, and spend their days meditating(ˈmedəˌtāt) and doing chores(CHôr), striving(strīv) to burn away any last bits of attachment to their previous(ˈprēvēəs) identities.

But most people who claim to pursue this path have mixed feelings about it, so they hold themselves in a state of limbo(ˈlimbō). They can’t get themselves to progress on the ego-empowering path, so they don’t take strong steps to advance in their careers(kəˈri(ə)r) or make much more money — that would be too ego-based for their spiritual beliefs.

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https://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2010/01/how-to-build-a-stronger-ego/